@WanderingWillow2008
its time to get our yapping on! :p
@Twerp
I love using gen-z terms even though I never use them haha. It makes me feel cool and fit in with the crowd. xD
@WanderingWillow2008
I always feel so awkward when I say them lmaoooo
Like..skibbi? Idek 😭
@twerp
It's spelled "skibidi" for the record.
@WanderingWillow2008
Willow, where are youuuuu? I need more music recommendations immediately
@twerp
Willow is working; Willow has a big kid job even though she's not a big kid. We have three more hours, though. So, you want music recommendations? Hm... How about:
- Autumns Monologue - From Autumn to Ashes
- Not About Angels - Birdy
- Calling You - Blue October
- Hate Me - Blue October
- Toxic Thoughts - Faith Marie. (I've liked this one lately)
Will that suffice you for now?
:P
@Twerp
Twerpeo, Twerpeo, wherefore art thou Twerpeo
:o
@WanderingWillow2008
thou here! 😛
@twerp
So glad your here omg. My anxiety is awful right now. 😭
@WanderingWillow2008
Want to talk about it? <3
@twerp
Yeah, SR is kinda chaotic right now. I'm usually okay with multiple things going on at once, but not right now. I'm just overstimulated, coupled on top of the anxiety with my appt for my LAI Zyprexa tomorrow. sometimes I'll get really anxious about it, especially if my PTSD surrounding my trauma has been bad. I'm very uncomfortable with being touched sometimes I'm just afraid of having a breakdown about it once I'm there. My heart is pounding. :')
@WanderingWillow2008
First of all, if sr is too much you are always welcome to come chat here with me and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. I know that certain topics are hard to be around of course so let’s make here our safe place! 🤍🌞
Secondly, it’s going to be okay. The appointment is always your choice and it is good for you as well. I know it can be scary to have to revisit trauma, but in a way this appointment will help hinder hard situations from happening in multitude.
Lastly, would you like to talk on a more deeper level about how you’re feeling? Perhaps you’d also like a funny seal video..? 👀
@twerp
Hey, just letting you know I’ve decided to admit myself voluntarily to the hospital for stabilization of my psychosis. I should be able to keep my phone with me, but I’m not sure. If I’m not, rest assured I’m safe. Thank you so much for being there for me, Twerpeo. ❤️
@WanderingWillow2008
Thank you for doing what is right for you, I am glad you are safe. You worried me in sr. Hopefully I will be hearing from you soon, I’d love to hear about how you’re doing. Allow yourself to take this time to relax and find stability. And you’re welcome, I’m always here. :)
@twerp
I'm so sorry for scaring you. I read your message last night, but I was too sleepy to respond. I am being allowed to keep my phone as, technically, I'm not a risk to myself or anyone else, but that'll change if factors change for me. (cooperation, medication compliance, etc.) I'm actually so happy I have my own room; sharing a room with a stranger is sus; I'm too paranoid they'd try to sit on my face in my sleep like a cat. I've behaved so far, cooperating with the fact they are giving me medication every four hours to keep me that way. I still have to get my Zyprexa today, only it'll happen here instead; again, I'm not looking forward to that, but you gotta do what you gotta do, I guess. I contacted my boss, who told me to take the necessary time, as I couldn't help people with an empty tank myself. So, hopefully, everything ends up being okay. I was told to expect 2 to 4 weeks here, so I'm preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. Hopefully, I can get 'stabilized' sooner rather than later, but I will check in with you later. <3
@WanderingWillow2008
Willow, I hope you did not think of my word choice with a negative connotation. By stability I had meant being away from your house and other environments that had been causing you stress. I apologize for any misconceptions. 🥲🤍
Im glad you get your own room too! Hopefully you are able to rest well without any anxiety. During these 2-4 weeks dont be afraid to reach out and vent here or in sr, I’m here to listen. :). Also, have you gotten your appointment yet, how are you feeling? Hoping to hear from you soon. 🤍🌞🦭
I know what you meant, I was referring to the possibility that stability may not be possible! And I’ll be getting it in about 30 minutes. My best friend brought me some Starbucks though so I think it’ll be tolerable… hopefully. If not, I guess it’s not. I mean I’m not sure because I’ve been very um… emotional today so to speak. Anyways, how are you doing?
@WanderingWillow2008
I am doing well, thank you for asking. I traveled to the zoo and relaxed with the fishes then got so close to a tiger I thought it was going to eat me! After that I went to a candy store and saw toe nail fungus soda... I wonder who's drinking that because not me lol. I did, however, take a picture for you to see. https://ibb.co/HT6XJWSY It's quite blurry, I hope you do not mind. XD
As this day comes to an end, I'd like to thank you for being here. It has been a long day for you with lots of rough feelings and I am proud of you for getting through it. I noticed earlier you had said you are not interesting or a "baddie" (XD), and I'd like to tell you that I don't mind that. You are a friend I cherish still, even if you bore me to my bones. (You don't)
I am here btw!!!! I cannot say this enough times but I. am. here. Please do not think it is unfair, or you are hindering me. You're not.
Continue to update me on how you're doing and eat all the applesauce your heart desires, sleep long and do not mind the hours, rest your head and explore your feelings like Repunzal out of her tower!
@twerp
Good Lord, Twerp. I don't deserve someone like you. I'm surprised with how much medication I've received today; I haven't been able to sleep for longer than 30 minutes at a time. And I'll eat what I can. If they don't think I'm eating enough, I'm sure they'll tell me. They've already made subtle hints by sending in the dietician and giving me Ensure. If I could eat without getting sick, I would! It sucks having celiac, malabsorption disorders, and stuff that makes food just sit in my stomach for hours. How many times do I have to explain to these people it is not psychological, well some of it is, but that's just the fact I don't like certain textures of food, but that's only things I will tolerate. The nurses and techs come in for their Q15 checks and keep telling me to go to bed, but I'm just not tired oml. Tell me a bedtime story, Twerp? I tell you jokes, you tell me bedtime stories, ok?
Toe nail fungus soda is not a slay btw. Eugh.
Forgive me, Twerp, for I have sinned.
I impulse-bought Morgan Wallen tickets for June. I'll run away to go see Morgan Wallen. I mean, you only live once, right? I don't care what my parents have to say. I'm living for me and me only. I don't need them to tell me my worth. I will be me.
@WanderingWillow2008
You need not to ask for my forgiveness. I do hope you continue to be safe, however. You do in fact only live once, so if you are to run away, I hope you take steps to ensure that you will continue to live it. Do not hitch hike, or trust weird strangers, if you are able bring a familiar face with you or meet one there. I've listened to far too many true crime podcasts XD. On the brighter side, you will hear some Morgan Wallen music. I hope you enjoy it and have a nice time.
Also, I do not mind telling you a bedtime story from time to time. As today I might not be able to log on later, I will share one soon and you can view it tonight. (No peeking!) I'll read you one of your favorites. (: If we do not talk again today (I hope we do) I'll see you tomorrow. Expect updates on how the cave exploring went...😛
@twerp
Maybe trusting weird strangers has it's benefits, like you and I for example. I'm a weird stranger and you trusted me. :p
I won't need to hitchhike hehe, I have a car, she's older than I am, but its all mine. In my name, I pay for it, the gas, the title, the insurance, the maintenance. It's one of the few things they can't take away from me. So excited to get out of here and drive again. :p And thank you for the bedtime story, it soothed my poor soul. Today was kinda stressful because the dietician came back and was telling me that I don't look good. 'excuse me?' xD Anyways, more nutritional adjustments, and if we can't get that to work they'll have to look at other options. Good lord this is a lot. xD
@WanderingWillow2008
Willow's bedtime story for 3/25/25 (TW// long text)
Dear Willow,
I hope with this story you may experience a little more snoring. 😴 Today I will be reading you chapter one-three of The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams. Read this when you are in need of some sleepy-time stories! 😛
Chapter 1: Introduction
There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning, he was really splendid. He was made of velveteen, and he had lovely long ears, and his coat was soft as velvet, and his eyes were shiny black buttons. But he wasn’t actually a real rabbit. He was a toy, but to the little boy who owned him, he was as real as any other rabbit.
The little boy loved the Velveteen Rabbit very much, and he loved him all the more because he was the boy's very own. The rabbit was so soft and snuggly that the little boy liked to carry him around everywhere.
Chapter 2: What is Real?
One day, the Velveteen Rabbit was talking to the Skin Horse. The Skin Horse was a wise old toy who had been around for a long time, and he had seen many toys come and go.
"Does it hurt?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit.
The Skin Horse replied, "Sometimes. When you are real, you don't mind being hurt. You don't mind how you look, either. It’s not about the way you look; it’s about being loved and being with the ones who care for you. That’s what makes you real."
The Velveteen Rabbit thought about this. "I want to be real," he said.
Chapter 3: Becoming Real
The days went by, and the little boy loved his Velveteen Rabbit more and more. The rabbit began to lose his soft, velvety coat, and his button eyes started to wear out. But the boy didn’t care. He loved the rabbit all the same, and that love made the rabbit feel real.
One day, the boy took the rabbit to bed with him, and the rabbit felt so happy to be close to him. He thought to himself, “This is what being real is all about."
Now, this is all I will share for tonight. Tomorrow we can read some more, rest well. <3
@twerp
Thank you for the bedtime story. It soothed my poor sad anxious Willow soul. <3
@WanderingWillow2008
Willows bedtime story for 3/26/25
Tonight I was originally planning on reading some more chapters of "The Velveteen Rabbit", but I thought we could switch it up. I hope that after a long, troubling day you are able to read this and sleep well. Here is "The little engine that could" by Watty Piper.
Long ago, there was a little blue engine who worked hard every day, pulling trains over the hills. She wasn’t very big, and she wasn’t very strong, but she had a heart full of courage.
One day, a big train was stuck at the bottom of a steep hill. It needed to get to the other side, but none of the engines in the yard were strong enough to pull it up. The big engines tried, but they couldn’t make it. They were too tired or too busy with other jobs.
Then the little blue engine came along. She was small, but when she saw the big train, she decided to help. “I think I can, I think I can,” she said to herself as she began to pull the heavy load.
Up the hill she chugged, slowly but steadily. With each turn of the wheels, she said again, “I think I can, I think I can.” And though the hill was steep, and the load was heavy, the little engine didn’t stop.
She puffed and chugged, and as she neared the top of the hill, she said louder, “I think I can, I think I can!” And just when it seemed she couldn’t go any further, she reached the top!
As the train rolled down the other side, the little engine smiled and said, “I thought I could, I thought I could.”
She had done it! She had pulled the heavy train up the hill all by herself. And when the other engines saw what she had done, they were amazed. The little blue engine may not have been the biggest or the strongest, but she had something they didn’t have—determination and the belief that she could do it.
@twerp
Again, thank you for the story Twerp. You've been so kind to me through this all, and I'll never be able to repay you for it. Today was pretty rough, getting woken up early for labwork, then eventually being told I needed an NG tube placed because my stomach problems are causing significant issues with my nutrition again with not being able to eat enough because I'm never hungry and always nauseous. Obviously, I was compliant. I always am, I know when I need something, somethings my needs are different than my wants though. It goes without saying while I let these things happen, there were significant autistic meltdowns involved. My head hurts from the crying and stress. But I'll be okay, hopefully the worse has already happened and better things are to come. How was your day? You never told me about the cave visits, or what you did today. :p
- Willow at 23:14 on March 26
@WanderingWillow2008
I had a wonderful time in the caves! It was very pretty but unfortunately I was stuck walking behind someone who thought it was a splendid idea to stand for minutes at a time and break us off from the guide. Other than that, it was beautiful and I went over 100 feet underground! Thank you for asking. :)
@WanderingWillow2008
Willows bedtime story for 3/27/25
Hello, willow! Here is a continuation of the velveteen rabbit. I hope you enjoy and sleep well. C:
The Rabbit Gets Left Behind
As the boy grew older, the Velveteen Rabbit was placed on the shelf in the nursery, a little forgotten. The boy's attention shifted to other toys and activities, and the rabbit was left alone for long stretches of time. But he wasn’t sad; he was content in the knowledge that the boy had loved him once, and that was enough.
Then, one day, the boy got sick. He had to stay in bed for a long time, and he asked for his Velveteen Rabbit to be with him. The rabbit was once again the boy’s most treasured toy. He stayed by the boy’s side day and night, comforting him through his illness.
The next morning, the boy’s mother took all the old toys, including the Velveteen Rabbit, and put them in a sack to be discarded. The rabbit felt terribly lonely, thinking he had been forgotten forever.
But something magical happened. As the rabbit lay there, waiting to be thrown away, a fairy appeared. She was beautiful and kind, and she smiled at the rabbit.
“Because you have been loved so much,” the fairy said, “you are no longer a toy. You are now a real rabbit.”
The Velveteen Rabbit’s heart leaped with joy. His coat grew soft and shiny again, his fur fresh and velvety. He could feel himself growing stronger, more alive.
From that day on, the Velveteen Rabbit was free to roam the world. He was no longer a toy; he was a real rabbit, full of life and energy. One summer’s day, he hopped into the garden, where the boy saw him for the first time.
The boy was so excited and said, “Look! A real rabbit! Just like the one from my nursery!”
The Velveteen Rabbit was overjoyed to be loved, and he ran happily into the wild, living as a real rabbit should.
And, though the boy never saw him again, the rabbit always carried the memory of being loved in his heart. He knew that it was that love that made him real.
We've finished up the velveteen rabbit! Let me know what other stories you might like to hear. :)
@WanderingWillow2008
Hey will, can we talk?
@twerp
Yeah, is everything okay?
@WanderingWillow2008
hi
@twerp
Heloooo