Chat with @FaithfulScout and @iixic
If you are not named in the title of this message, please do not read/post/subscribe/react/etc … *Thank You!*
@iixic
Hi!
It might help our correspondence to know my schedule: I am in the Eastern Timezone of the United States (in the state of Massachusetts). Also in the Pen Pals forum, I prefer to use my real name: Tom. (Feel free to continue using your member name, or whatever you wish.)
Hi Tom!
Thank you so much for making this conversation! U can call me Sumaia, it’s my real name as well. It’s fine we can chat anytime you are available. I’m in the Central European Time.
Hi Sumaia - I'm going to online for another 1 hour if you have the time?
Yes, I do have time
Is there anything you wanted to ask me about, regarding my experience? How are things between you and your family?
Actually I don’t have questions right now, but I find it useful to contact unknown people.
It’s going fine, I stopped arguing with them because it was useless. I spent my time in my room, just thinking what should I do
I’m glad things are better.
You mentioned an engagement meeting. How did that go? Are there other events planned?
Thank you!
It was the worst day for me, but Idk what about him. No, not yet. I didn’t ask about anything
Yes, they already made the decision. If he changes his mind and cancel then it’s over.
If he does accept the marriage, what happens next?
The engagement and after two years the marriage.
I see. Thank you for helping me to understand.
It is so very nice to meet you, Sumaia. I'm glad you reached out to 7Cups.
Please let me know if there is any news. And if okay with you, I would like to ask how things are going?
Thank you so much for your kind message. It’s lovely to meet you as well!
I appreciate your support and your willingness to check in it really means a lot. I’ll definitely let you know if there’s any news.
Okay! Good night and take care!
@iixic
Hi Sumaia - How has your week been?
Hi there,
It’s been a good week, thanks for asking! How about you?
Hi there!
My week has been "different". I had a scheduled surgery on Monday (it was successful) and now I will recover for maybe 4 weeks.
I would like to know about your life. Are you in school? How did you find 7Cups?
Have a good night!
Hi Tom!
Thank you for sharing. I’m glad to hear that your surgery was successful, and I hope your recovery goes smoothly.
As for me, I’m studying Dutch at the moment. I found 7Cups while looking for a supportive community to talk to, and I’m really grateful to have found it.
Wishing you a restful and speedy recovery!
Have a peaceful night :)
Hi Sumaia - thanks for your good wishes! Are you studying the language or the cutural as well? And with 7Cups, have you found what you were you looking for?
Hi Tom,
My pleasure! I’m studying both the language and the culture. As for 7Cups, it’s been a really supportive space, and I’m still exploring.
I’m happy to hear that you find 7Cups supportive as well. I feel lucky to find this site because I have been seeking is a place where people can be authentic. Do you like to visit chat sites? Are there sites like 7Cups that you like?
Thank you! Yes, I have accounts in a few other chat sites, like social media apps. How about you?
I don't really remember when I was on any chat sites.
A long time ago Yahoo.com had message boards, and I was on them regularly (until they shut the whole thing down). I’m also not on social media, so I’m probably cut off from most that is out there.
Ah, I see. I’ve never used Yahoo before. I also try not to use social media too much.
Yes, me too.
I moved recently to the Netherlands, that’s why I’m studying the language. I’m planning to study next year in the university.
I’m wondering how come you don’t have social media accounts? :>
Thank you so much!
I can relate to what you said I was shy as a kid too, and I’ve realized I’m more shy than I used to think.
Yes, I do use social media a bit, mostly to stay connected, and posting some of pictures I take but I try not to let it take over. Honestly, I admire the choice to stay off it it’s rare these days.
That’s really kind of you to say I appreciate it!
Enjoy your supper, and have a great night!
@iixic
Hi Sumaia! How’s your week going?
Hi Tom!
I’m doing good I think. I started volunteering work this week to keep myself busy.
How about you?
@iixic
That’s great! What type of volunteering?
It’s been a little busy. I had a doctor's appointment Monday (got some testing done). That wiped me out Monday night and yesterday, and I have my surgery follow-up tomorrow.
Between resting and getting familiar with the 7Cups website, I've been having a nice time at home!
That sounds like a lot to manage I hope your surgery follow-up goes well tomorrow!
For the volunteering, I’m helping elderly in my community.
I’m really pleased you’re having a nice time!
@iixic
Thanks! (I will get to wash my hair tomorrow!)
Do you like the people at your volunteer place (the elderly people)? What do you do with them?
And 2 more questions … When does school start? What other classes will you be taking?
I hope you sleep well, good night!
@FaithfulScout
Good morning Tom!
Haha, enjoy that hair wash tomorrow! 😄
Yes, I really do like the people at my volunteer place they’re so sweet. Mostly, I help with small tasks like setting up activities, serving drinks, and playing games together.
I’ll start the next level of the Dutch language course in two months. I might also begin my university degree if I get accepted for this academic year.
Today*
@iixic
Hi Sumaia - I can’t believe I still have not washed my hair yet! I thought after my appointment I would go straight into the shower! I guess I am hesitating because I also had my stitches removed, so the area is a bit tender. Maybe this weekend I will feel ready. (Also, showering has been no problem since I got home from the surgery. I just had to wait for my follow up appointment before I could get my hair wet. If I had to wait for showering, then I would be really miserable!)
I forget if you said that your family moved to the Netherlands or if you only move alone to attend the university? (I really hope you get accepted!)
I’m glad you are taking care of the elderly with your free time. It’s good to get out of the house. I plan to do a little bit more when the summer weather is not too hot. Last year, I was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and my whole life changed. I don’t want to tell the whole story this evening, but you have been so kind that I thought it would be good to share this very new event in my life. (This is why I had the surgery, and I will have radiation therapy in the coming weeks.)
I hope this is not too much dire news for you. I am very grateful to be alive. Even before my diagnosis I was very grateful and had a hopeful outlook, the cancer has not changed this perspective in me.
I think that’s why I liked hearing about your volunteer experience.
Thank you for allowing me to share.
Talk soon!
@FaithfulScout
Hi Tom!
Thank you so much for opening up and sharing all of this with me. I’m really sorry to hear about everything you’ve been going through, but I truly admire your strength and positive outlook despite the circumstances.
Also about your diagnosis… I’m truly sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to receive that news and go through all of this. But your attitude is honestly inspiring. The way you continue to stay grateful and hopeful is something I deeply respect. Thank you for trusting me enough to share such a personal part of your journey.
I also was diagnosed with a chronic condition called Essential Tremor. It’s considered advanced for my age, and it’s something that will progress over time.
I’ve been trying to adapt it, but I’d be lying if I said it’s always easy sometimes I do feel tired and frustrated. But reading your message, your strength and positive mindset really gave me courage
And no I moved to the Netherlands with my family.
It makes me happy to know you liked that I volunteer with the elderly! I’d love to tell you more about it and share what I usually do it’s something I really enjoy.
Wishing you strength and all my best for your upcoming radiation therapy.
Anytime, I’m always here to listen.
@iixic
Thanks so much, Sumaia, for your encouragement and loving words.
I’m so glad to be able to share this part of my life with you. And I’m glad you can see how my faith supports me through and through!
I appreciate you trusting me with your ET struggles, also. It is courageous of you to share this with me, and I hope you can feel less tired and frustrated knowing you are doing the best you can.
It is interesting how we can be so “normal” online and yet both be dealing with such significant impacts from our bodies. (Because of my brain surgery, my language processing center has been affected: long words are difficult for me to pronounce, even though I know the words in my mind, I can’t get them out.) Instead of the dystopian view of technology creating division and destruction, here technology has given us a bridge for communication and a feeling of “normalcy”.
I would love to hear about your volunteer experiences and what you find so fulfilling!
“Anytime, I’m always here to listen.” ~ Same here!!
@FaithfulScout
My pleasure and thank you for your kind words it really means a lot. I’m doing my best, and hearing your support truly helps. And yes, it’s amazing how technology gives us the chance to connect like this.
About my volunteer there isn’t much new since I just started recently but the elderly people I help are so kind, and I enjoy spending time with them. But to be honest, it can be a bit difficult sometimes because my Dutch isn’t that good yet. I’m trying my best to improve it.
I’m really glad we’re having this conversation, and I look forward to hearing more from you!
Have a great night!
@iixic
Hi Sumaia!
How have you been? It has been a little busy this week for me. I met with my oncology team to get an idea of where the cancer is "misbehaving" (that is what one of my doctors called it), and I had several appointments to prepare for my radiation treatments next week beginning on Tuesday.
My hope is to get all my appointments in order before the weekend, so I can get some rest before the busy week ahead.
How about your plans for the weekend?
@FaithfulScout
Hi Tom!
It seems like it’s been a really intense week for you. I hope all your appointments go smoothly and that you’re able to get some rest before your radiation treatments. Please know that I’m keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you healing and peace throughout this journey.
Actually, I had been meaning to write to you earlier, but things got a bit busy lately, and I didn’t want to disturb you knowing you’ve been going through so much.
As for me, this weekend I’m going on a short trip with some friends to visit another city here in the Netherlands. I’m really looking forward to spending some time together.
Also, I recently found out that I wasn’t accepted into the university this year, which was disappointing. But I’m trying to stay positive and think about other opportunities for now.
How are you feeling today?
@iixic
Thank you so much, Sumaia, for keeping me in your thoughts!
I appreciate you for giving me space, even though I always like to hear from you *
I’m sorry your application for the university wasn’t accepted—but that is enough of that … please go and have a wonderful time this weekend!!
I am doing well today, just resting up in preparation for the week ahead.
Can’t wait to hear about your trip!
@FaithfulScout
Hi Tom!
Thanks so much for your sweet message! I really appreciate it. And don’t worry about the uni thing it’s okay, I’m trying not to overthink about it and look for another opportunity.
Glad to hear you’re doing well and getting some rest.
The trip was really lovely I had such a great time! I visited lots of places, took so many pictures, and I wish I could share them with you.
Take care and have a great night! (Even though I’m not sure if it’s night over there)
Talk soon!🤍🤍🤍
@iixic
Hey Sumaia!
How are you doing?
My week has been tiring with radiation treatments. They are almost over (my last one is on Monday). I am going to rest up today and a little bit tomorrow. I’m excited for tomorrow because my children and I are going to get together before school starts for them.
Additionally I am carrying around a heavy heart for my son. This week, my ex said to him she will no longer support him when he turns 18 years old. We will see what happens.
I wish I could see pictures from your trip!
If you have a laptop computer, you should be able to share some pictures. I recently shared, with a member, a picture of the doggy daycare I used to work for (http://pawsclub.com/gallery.html):
It is a great business and still going!
Bye for now, I hope your weekend is going well!
@FaithfulScout
Hi Tom!
I’m really glad to hear your treatments are almost finished. I hope you’ll get some good rest soon and enjoy special time with your kids.
I can imagine how stressful it must be to worry about your son’s future. I truly hope everything will turn out in the best way for him.
My week was nice, but I spent most of it studying the language and going to the gym. How about you?
Yes, I do have a laptop, and I opened the link you sent, but honestly I didn’t understand how to use the website these websites feel a bit difficult for our generation that’s why we prefer social media platforms🫠
And I don’t understand what do you mean by that it’s a great business?
Take care, talk soon!
@iixic
Hi Sumaia!
I’m happy to hear you are going to the gym and practicing your language!
What I mean to say is my former doggy daycare boss is doing well in her business. She started it 25 years ago, and it is still very popular!
My week has been tough. I finished with my treatments on Monday, but I also had an additional appointment for an MRI at a different hospital that means extra travel time and more tiredness 😪 Tomorrow I will be having a biopsy, but it should be a quick and minor procedure. I spent most of my time in bed this week, not feeling ill, just tired. My partner Laura has been taking very good care of me 🙂
My son is getting more acclimated to the idea of having to support himself. It has been an interesting process for me to witness. She has withheld support for him because of all the years he has disobeyed her. In those past instances, I often disagreed with her: yes, he always behaved badly, but her response was to always yell at him.
I was a little surprised that I supported her so much for this final conflict because I had disagreed with her in the past. We will see what happens!
On the 7cups website, when you open the message window, there is an option to download a photo from your computer into your message:
Now I understand how our generations are different: social media shares photos instantly compared with the extra steps you would need to transfer photos from your phone to the computer and then from the computer to the 7cups website—that is a lot of transferring!
Have a good weekend, Sumaia!
@iixic
Hi Sumaia!
@FaithfulScout
Hi Tom!
I’m really sorry for not getting back to you sooner, life has been a bit overwhelming lately. I’ve been doing okay, thank you so much for checking in on me it truly means a lot. I hope you’ve been doing well too, and I’d really love to hear how you’re feeling these days.
I’d love to talk more about my days with you, just been caught up with a lot lately.
Talk soon!
@iixic
Hi Sumaia!
It is very good to hear from you, and I can totally understand about being overwhelmed. I’m glad you are doing okay. If there is anything I can do to help sort out or process what is going on in life, I am here for you.
In the past few days, Laura and I have been working on a newsletter to update our family and friends on my condition. This was something my therapist had suggested for us, since I have been having more appointments lately.
I hope you can access it (https://bit.ly/4mh5Yd0). If not I, I can cut and paste the contents on here.
I’m really glad you are doing ok—and no problem if you don’t have time respond to this message, I understand 🙂
I hope things settle down for you soon 🧡
@FaithfulScout
Hey Tom!
thanks so much for your sweet message it really means a lot.
I just finished reading the newsletter, thank you for letting me be part of it and I’m really sorry you’ve had to go through so much. I truly hope your health keeps improving and that you start feeling a little better each day. Please know I’m keeping you in my thoughts and sending you lots of care🤍
Oh and I’ve got some good news too. things with that person I was kinda forced to be with are finally over. Honestly, I feel so relieved, like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders.
Don’t worry about me, I’m hanging in there, just taking things one step at a time.
I really appreciate your support and kind words and hope your appointments go smoothly and that you’re also taking some time to rest.
Speak soon, take care💕
@iixic
Sumaia—
Receiving your messages help me feel better ☺️
That is great news about your situation!
🥳 🥳 🥳 I wish I could give you a party! 🥳 🥳 🥳
I know how much it was stressing you out. Is your family upset? Are they planning on pushing someone else on you?
Thanks again for all your support, as well!
@FaithfulScout
Hey Tom!
Thank you so much your words always make me feel better.
Honestly, my family wasn’t upset, because it turned out that person really wasn’t worth it. And I told them this will be the last time I let them step into a decision like that. If I ever meet the right person, I’ll think about it then but for now, I just want to focus on myself and my studies. They mean well and I love them, but I need to move at my own pace.
Hope you’re having a great week! 💕
@FaithfulScout
Hey Tom!
It’s been a while since I heard from you. Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. Hope everything’s alright with you.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
@iixic
Hi Sumaia!
I’m so happy to hear from you! Thank you for keeping in touch—I am just getting back to my messages.
I am emotionally (and spiritually) very well. I have been extra tired for the past week and a half. I stay awake for only 1-3 hours at a time before needing to sleep for 3-5 hours. Fortunately, I have been able to walk twice per day, almost every day. Other side-effects include heartburn and mild indigestion. This weekend I am starting to stay awake a little longer.
I’m so proud of you for voicing your beliefs to your family! I totally support you taking your time to find the right person and to focus on yourself and your studies.
How is your Dutch? Do you have to keep up with other studies too? Are you still volunteering and doing the gym?
Thank you again for keeping me in your thoughts 💛
@FaithfulScout
Hey!
So happy to hear from you. I’m glad you’re doing okay emotionally, even with the tiredness and side effects. Walking every day is great, hope the energy keeps improving for you!
My Dutch is going fine! I’ll start a course at the uni on Wednesday, so I’m stopping volunteering this week to give more time for that and also look for a part-time job. Still trying to keep up with the gym too when I can.
Always nice reading your message. Wishing you more strength and better days ahead 🤍
@iixic
Great news that you will be able to study Dutch in a course, Sumaia!
How many people are in the class? Are they about the same age as you?
It makes sense to stop the volunteer work. I hope you won’t miss it too much.
I just finished my 2nd round of infusions last Friday and the side-effects seem to be the same except the fatigue is a bit more intense (which is why I haven’t been on 7cups in a little while) and I’m dealing with high blood pressure now. At the end of the month, I will begin my 3rd and hopefully last round of chemo for a while.
And … Laura and I are getting married tomorrow! Even before my diagnosis last year, we were engaged, and then the cancer had taken over everything in our lives. Now with the chemotherapy treatments, I realized I don’t have much time before I lose my hair, so within 2 weeks we planned everything. Our intention was always to have a simple private ceremony with only 2-4 guests, so we were confident we could put it all together. This has been the other thing that has taken my time away from 7cups, but I am so glad to be in communication again!!
How is the search for the part-time job going?
Talk to you soon!
💛
@FaithfulScout
Hey Tom!
It really makes me happy to hear from you again! 🤍
It sounds like you’ve been through a lot lately. I really hope the chemo is going as smoothly as possible, and that you’re feeling a bit better day by day. And congratulations on your wedding! That’s such beautiful news!
I wish I could’ve been there to see your wedding. I can imagine how special the ceremony must have been, even with just a few guests. Wishing you both so much happiness and strength moving forward. 💕💕
There are 12 people in my class, and we’re all around 20 years old.
Actually I’m still looking for a job though. I haven’t been accepted anywhere yet, so I’m keeping up the search.
Also, I recently started seeing a therapist. It’s been helping me a bit.
Take care and talk soon!
@iixic
Hi Sumaia!
Thank you for the congratulations—it would have been even more special to have YOU at our wedding 💐 … with my kids, my sister (she is not in the photo), and the officiant and his wife (who are also our neighbors) … see the picture below!
I’m glad that your therapist has been helpful. Therapy helped me during my 20s, and it is now so vital as I go through this new treatment process for my cancer. My therapist and I just finished exploring the idea of how I can spend some special father and daughter time soon. She will be going to school (for 5 months) in London, starting in January 2026.
I plan to talk with her tomorrow about the idea.
Your class of 12 people sounds like a very good size! How is it going?
Are you getting some exercise?
It has been a tough month (I just updated my newsletter), but I hope it will begin to settle down now.
Talk soon! 💛
@iixic
Hi Sumaia - I hope you are well. If there is anything troubling you, let me know if I can help 🙂
Tom
