Just because.
@FormalPsycho
Just in case you'd ever like to share anything. I might make a "Lego" record player to put next to the piano.
@FormalPsycho Hi, John! 👋
Greetings from a higher ward.
@FormalPsycho
Sorry for the wait, just been busy at the moment. Not with too much but just adjusting to some changes. As you know I'm a religious person and it's getting to be around the time Jesus died. He said "keep doing this in remembrance of me" when referring to the Lord's supper. So it's a special time for me. I've got a special talk to invite people to, lots of people responded nicely but I can't help but wonder who will actually attend. (I in no way mean anything by what I say, just explaining my delay in answering)
@peacefulpurple08
My family has always had a custom of saving the best dress or suit in their wardrobe for that day. (After all they did bid on his clothing, just a light joke.) What you wear to the event has nothing to do. I just hope at least one of the people I invited shows up. I even invited someone who spoke English to the English one because he asked (the one I was inviting people to is in Spanish).
@peacefulpurple08
They were just in persecution at the time, my grandmother had the bad experience of her mother giving away her clothes before she could actually leave, I think she still lives with that, because her closet is like a mini store.
I have special news that I wish I could fully report, however it is time I came clean. I don't expect you to treat me with the same respect as you once did.
Abby is not dead. She never was, that's why I never wanted anyone to show pity. I did believe she was dead, not because I hadn't seen her, but because that's what I choose to believe.
I had to leave her life for a long time as I couldn't bare to see her with any other men or ruin her life, it was too much pain to stand. So I left her life, promising myself to get help and find a way to cope. My ways were, as you've come to know, Pearl Cliffs and this app. Everything I missed Abby, I wrote in my book.
Recently, as of February, I got back in contact with Abby and admitted my feelings, it's been a whole thing. While we are not dating, we are more close than ever, some times we hold hands and other times we cuddle, enjoying each other's company.
My life has never been better, I can finally feel happy. No one else knows besides Chuck. I had to be sure I would stay with Abby.
I will remain on this app for a long time to come, but I feel healed in a way, tell me how everyone has been, I miss talking to Chuck and everyone else.
@FormalPsycho No offense John but "everyone else" would literally be everyone. I don't know much about Chuck. You see her father had thrown her out of their house. I told her to pack something in case he did it again. You know with all the basic necessities. I've messaged her a couple times she hasn't responded. She doesn't have a phone of her own. So I assume I'm connecting dots and that she is thrown out.
@FormalPsycho John, I figured. I didn't mind.
@FormalPsycho Also I promised you that I would always treat you the same.
Thank you.
@FormalPsycho Of course!
@FormalPsycho Hope it goes well for you both. You obviously love Abby.
@FormalPsycho
You know I got this huge crush on a guy...I now understand what people mean when they say "sick to my stomach". I get so nervous when I know I'll see him.
@FormalPsycho what's hilarious is that besides coming up to me last time I saw him to ask for my name, I'm a complete stranger to him. Somehow I know how his parents feel about me more than how he feels about me.
@FormalPsycho like his mom is always nice, but even his dad who is a little more rough around the edges introduced me to the people he invited to the event tonight. Side note I was so happy because the people he invited had a kid who hugged me and my mom. He is so tiny, such a cutie.
I have to leave Abby again, we had a fight again. It's the anniversary of when I left her. I am weak, she has to die again, I can't do this, I cant
@FormalPsycho
John don't let her die just yet. It's best to talk it out first.
@FormalPsycho it doesn't need to be right away, but it's not normal to let her die if you can try to save her.
I tried, she is interested in me as a person, but she has her complaints, "We have the same conversations, you're trying too hard, I'm not ready for a relationship."
I want her so badly, but she doesn't feel the same. Says she needs to focus on her life.
@FormalPsycho I see John. You do as you seem fit.
@FormalPsycho deem sorry my phone keeps autocorrecting it.
@FormalPsycho it just seems unhealthy to continuously let her into your life and cut her off, since you love her so much.
@FormalPsycho
(You do not have to read my message it's long I know, and I'm weirdly sharing this with you)
I was meaning to say I understand what you meant before when you said "I couldn't bare to see her with any other men or ruin her life, it was too much pain to stand."
You see the guy I like is friends with these girls who just seem so nice. As much as I would love to be the one for him, I can't help but feel he will choose one of them. One girl in particular.
I guess I could say I am jealous of her, however I also know I have nothing to be jealous about. I also have a good personality, I know that much about myself. I may not be the world's prettiest girl but I clean up nice.
There's also the other side of my mind calming me down explaining that he knows these girls longer than me and would've said something if he liked that girl.
Basically you can ignore whatever I said above if you want, I'm also in love with someone who I can't yet be in a relationship with.... Tw///(so much so I literally vomited). Best part is he's not conventionally attractive. I just love how nice he is.
I'm trying to be friends with the girl so I can calm myself. She's definitely cool, I'd actually love her as a friend. Just sad he might prefer her when I'm here dying over him.
You will get him, and you will be happy. I have full faith in you.
@FormalPsycho thank you John. It means a lot coming from you. I'm sure that Abby will come around sooner or later.
She's just off on a turnaround, flying like a fool to some holy land, Las vegas or something. I have hope for her dreams, but I know she won't get there.
@FormalPsycho I hope she comes back safely.
@FormalPsycho I have a random question; I'm just curious I guess. Why do you have faith that I will get the guy I like and be happy, as you've put it?
Would you want me to state otherwise?
@FormalPsycho I guess not, but you are usually the kind of person who would only say something like that if you believed it.
@FormalPsycho You don't usually care about my feelings when speaking.
@FormalPsycho
Got reminded of you today, was going through some reels when I saw one that talked about good movies. While scrolling through the comments someone wrote that they felt "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" was the best movie they'd seen, and someone recommended "Girl, Interrupted" to them. It reminded me of that one conversation we had quite a while back.
It had me wondering how you are doing. How's it going, John?
Abby left me, we never dated or anything, you came at a low point really, it's been 11 days, it's a story I do not wish to recall.
@FormalPsycho
Something similar has happened to me. I understand the pain John. I still hope for some reason for him to come around but I think he's just not good for me.
@FormalPsycho the guy I like kind of annoys me actually, because how are you going to block me and then the next time we are in a group in person spend an hour noticeably staring at me.
It's like I want to slap him, but I don't resort to physical violence.
@FormalPsycho My brain depicted you in a dream as this super pale guy, jet black hair, dark brown eyes. Actually it seemed to have the same plot as a movie I watched mixed with another dream I previously had. It was interesting.
I'm a white, slightly tanned man, I'm 5 '10 with brown hair. I keep a clean shove and neat appearance and pull it all off with brown eyes.
@FormalPsycho John, I don't really need a description. You described, I can't remember her name from your book but I remember her existence, her grandson and then said he looked like you. My brain doesn't think of you as you are, it thinks of you as it sees you. That's why you're essentially black and white in my dream.
@FormalPsycho However, I would like to thank you for answering. I seem to have forgotten to add my thanks earlier.
@FormalPsycho
1. I found the exact sentences. "He was tall, about six foot two, he had about mid-length brown hair. It was nice and suave, he liked to dress nice too; Not too dissimilar to me. If you squinted at Ms. Pauline’s son, you’d mistake him for me. "
2. You kind of described yourself to me in a way you would describe a pet going up for adoption. It's an interesting stylistic choice.
I reworked the whole book, gave it a "remaster."
@FormalPsycho I hope you don't mind me asking: may I read it?
Not yet, still touching up.
@FormalPsycho
I'm sure it's well done anyhow. You're quite good at what you do John. I hope it comes along well for you.
@FormalPsycho I would like to know a little more about what kind of job you are interested in? Or already have, depending on the route you have taken. Just like I have no idea what you'd like to achieve in life.
Feel free to respond, if you are comfortable doing so.
@FormalPsycho
Took the AP exam for Environmental Science and I feel dead. It's not necessarily because of lack of knowledge, rather lack of time. Also, I'm realizing I've only had a glass of water and these little bite snacks. No wonder my head is killing me.
Feel free to add any comments you'd like.
I graduate highschool tomorrow.
@FormalPsycho Congratulations John! 🎉 I'm proud of you. I hope tomorrow is a good day! 😊
I hope the graduation went well. I got reminded of you again because yesterday a cashier named Jonathan asked me about my shirt. We had a short conversation about whether we'd watched the "Peanuts" (like Charlie Brown and Snoopy) movies and who are favorite characters were. He's cool. Anyhow, I also saw a Red Cardinal today and he sounded like he was cat calling me, it's such a funny whistling sound. Ooo and I almost forgot I saw some butterflies and a woodpecker!
I'm childish I know, but I didn't know that the butterfly I saw is Florida's State Butterfly. Also, I saw them in my own neighborhood which is rare considering I live in the city. We just have more trees in this specific neighborhood.
Thank you for reading as much as you decided to read. :)
@FormalPsycho
@FormalPsycho How have you been?
Absolutely horrible.
On the other note, I start working at real job tuesday.
@FormalPsycho would you like to speak about it? I promise I won't judge. Also, I hope your first day goes well! :)
@FormalPsycho May I ask what kind of job you are starting?
Abby left me because she talking to another man. I found this out not even ten minutes ago.
@FormalPsycho I am sorry John. It must be devastating. If it's any consolation I think the guy I liked has a girlfriend now.
@FormalPsycho So, similar boat different waves.
@FormalPsychoin in my experience it's occured to me that he's really not anything I need and shouldn't be what I want. I just can't seem to let the feelings go.
@FormalPsycho What I mean is: you might want to evaluate your love for her, see whether it is harming you too much.
@FormalPsycho what you have right now is more of an Adele-All I ask situation, but what you seem to want is a Josh Groban and Kelly Clarkson- All I ask of you situation.
@FormalPsycho if you listen to the songs it'll what I said makes sense.
@FormalPsycho Hey John! Hope tomorrow goes well!
@FormalPsycho How are you holding up John? How's the job? How's life? Pearl Cliffs? The Piano?
@FormalPsycho There was a time period before the pen pal when I didn't realize they had moved you to the adult side yet I wanted to share what I had said then, starting with a little bit before the last message you sent me. The blue is me.
I don't know why I always wonder whether you think well or badly of me.
9:22 PM
I mean I assume you don't hate me but, you cab never be sure about something like that.
9:22 PM
*can
9:22 PM
You replied: Can't ever be.
are you correcting me?
10:42 PM
because if my brain working correctly, which sometimes I doubt, both versions are right.
10:43 PM
*is
10:43 PM
obviously it's not.
10:43 PM
I searched it because I am honestly pathetic right now.
10:46 PM
Although I am sure you don't care. You do know I think well of you, right?
10:58 PM
I honestly believe I've said everything I feel about you before
6:19 PM
I'm sure, you'll do well on the adult side
6:19 PM
I feel like saying just about everything I can think of now.
9:43 PM
But honestly it's something that I'll say because you're leaving. I will miss you, and I am being 100% mushy about it.
9:44 PM
Also, I still have what you played the first time we met because I said it wasn't mushy then ........ I lied.
9:46 PM
Like it was actually super nice, Mr. Tough guy.
9:46 PM
And I hope you do well as an adult.
9:47 PM
I'm realizing I could create a pen pal, but that's really something I need to run past you.
10:53 PM
Sat Jan 25
Farewell, tis hath been a wondrous pleasure to hath thy company.
12:32 PM
I do hope we met again. You probably hope I never do, at least now that I have been mushy.
12:34 PM
Wed Jan 29
Sometimes I wish this still worked for no reason (once I realized the switch to the adult side)
9:29 PM
I had actually guessed right about the ominous 4 days.
9:30 PM
pretty cool on my part I'd say
9:30 PM
You wouldn't be impressed though
9:31 PM
not a lot does impress you
9:31 PM
I'd have to discover a new element before that happened.
9:31 PM
not even then, maybe I'd have to get Alan Parsons to make a song dedicated to "John"
9:33 PM
weirdly sounds more simple
9:34 PM
or I could get Chicago to do it too. That'd probably be more your style.
9:35 PM
if I can convince one why not have both
9:36 PM
I could always try anyhow
9:36 PM
and you were always right
9:40 PM
even when you weren't
9:40 PM
@peacefulpurple08 funny, somehow it's not blue.
@FormalPsycho You know on the 19th this month it'll be a year since you first messaged me. I somehow never forget that you played Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake Act 2 No. 10 for me. It is probably annoying that I keep saying it, but it's a special song to me, and I am grateful to have heard you play it.
Stranger lost in la la land.
@FormalPsycho La La Land reminds me of the movie where a woman and a man fall in love. An actress and a Piano/Jazz player. They split ways, but he makes a jazz club after all. When they are older and she's married, he sees her and her husband in the front seat of his club. They don't end up together. It's bittersweet but real. You might not like watching the actual movie though because it's a musical.