Just because.
@FormalPsycho
Just in case you'd ever like to share anything. I might make a "Lego" record player to put next to the piano.
@FormalPsycho Hey John! How's it going? Haven't heard from you in a little bit. Hoping you're alright.
Im fine, I stopped by Harvey's house, saw Harper at work, and stopped by abbys house, three ghosts all in one night.
@FormalPsycho Must be tiring. I'm sorry about that John. How are you feeling about your job? I suppose it isn't easy, but do you enjoy what you do?
@FormalPsycho
I just remembered that I've officially known you for a full year. (A year and a few weeks but still.) :)
If I may ask, have you finished your rework of Pearl Cliffs, John? (I don't mean to sound pushy btw, just curious.)
Also, how has it been?
Ive stopped writing pearl Cliffs ever since abby. Ive started work on a new story, ColdStrong.
@FormalPsycho I'm sure it's just as good. I hope it goes well for you, John. Also, I was wondering, would you ever allow me to read it?
Eventually when I write more.
@FormalPsycho I assumed that was implied. Thank you, John! May I ask how you've been feeling?
Lonely, I miss abby, I am Icarus.
@FormalPsycho You flew too close to the sun?
@FormalPsycho This reminds me of a song from a Korean boy band BTS called Boy with Luv because of the allusion. (Random I know)
"Listen my baby. I'm flying high up in the sky. (With the two wings that you gave me back then)"
As well as, "I'll tell you frankly, sometimes I was a little stuck up. Elevated sky, expanded halls, sometimes I prayed, let me run away, but your pain is my pain. When I realised that, I vowed to myself, with the wings of Icarus you gave me. Not towards the sun, but towards you. Let me fly. "
CherryCoff33
Im talking with this user, I want to create a forum for her and I. But im too nervous
@FormalPsycho don't be John. After all it's just a forum. Courage! It'll be fine.
Tonight, so she may find her way in the morning
@FormalPsycho if I am honest John, you are the one who makes people nervous. I didn't know you were even capable of having nerves.
@FormalPsycho you used to make me so nervous, I never knew what would come out of your mouth.
@FormalPsycho
You see you are a little judgmental at the beginning, but I came to realize it was mostly your inability to speak about topics that weren't part of your interests. You seem to get easily bored, and try to find reasons to dislike the person. While I had the ability to ask about and/or try out your interests.
You are right, id like to think ive changed, she thanked me for helping her, all i did was talk.
@FormalPsycho you do seem to be more open emotionally, which makes you a better person in general.
@FormalPsycho You are still you but just a little more warm.
I see.
@FormalPsycho
I do however really enjoy being able to speak like we say in Spanish "a bocajarro".
If I were to try to translate it would be "speaking like you are drinking straight from the carton".
Although jarro actually means, pitcher or jug, not carton, but the saying doesn't really exist in English.
It means that I speak without preparation, like when you ask a difficult question out of nowhere.
Thank you for the knowledge.
@FormalPsycho sure thing, also boca obviously means mouth so bocajarro is like mouth and pitcher in one word. It's also used to explain when you're for example shot at point blank. Same word. We do that a lot, like how lima could be a lime or a file like for woodworking or nails etc.
@FormalPsycho Spanish is honestly easier to learn pronunciation for and you can have a wider vocab with a couple words. However, you need to understand the usage in context.
@FormalPsycho Hey John! How are you feeling? 💜
Fine, writing more letters.
@FormalPsycho May I ask about the topic?
Abby
@FormalPsycho I figured. I also would like to remind you that you are working now. Probably not amazing for you to be up so late, if you need to work early tomorrow. (obviously I don't know your arrangement, but I know being a mechanic and sleepy isn't a good mix.)
I wish to be sleepy, so I could injure myself so severe an ambulance would take me away so I could see her, just have her look at me, just one last time
@FormalPsycho or you could die never seeing her again, which is why that's a terrible idea.
@FormalPsycho I hope you realize your life is worth preserving, and I've grown to like you as a person. It would be a shame, quite like the guy from your prior novel.
@FormalPsycho It would be a shame for the world to lose a guy like you.
No, she would die knowing no one else would love her more than I do
@FormalPsycho John, please be realistic here. She could know that with you being alive too. You being dead won't change what she thinks. You are better off alive because then maybe you could actually spend time with her. You don't know what the future holds.
The future holds my death, coldstrong is just some elaborate stret hed metaphor for my vision with abby.
@FormalPsycho well it technically holds death for anyone. But I meant before that moment in time. You don't know, what if she does come around, you could be happy with her.
@FormalPsycho But you'd have to be alive, you know. To enjoy that moment.
It is out of my understanding to explain, its easy to see its over forever, just not explainable.
@FormalPsycho Honestly, John it's just terrible to think that one day you could be dead too early. All because someone doesn't reciprocate love. You do realize you are worthy of loving someone who loves you back, right? That you could one day love someone more than Abby?
You couldn't understand, when you've thought about someone for two years, loved them for two years, bragged about them for two years, you realize you can't love anyone more than that.
@FormalPsycho Actually you could love someone more than that. You can always love someone more. Love doesn't have a limit.
@FormalPsycho
I went to watch the new Superman movie, around noon.
I know that probably doesn't interest you, but I will still share anyhow.
It was nice, great sound at the theater, nice seats, reclinable. Which honestly came in handy because of a random pulled muscle. Like out of all places it chose my tummy.
I've been sick (allergies) so that's probably how it happened. Coughing, Sneezing, Yawning, Laughing. Any scenario where I breathe too hard or am in a bad position, it hurts.
I enjoyed the movie. There's just one tiny detail that bugs me. The first time he shows his suit's logo, the one for superman. He is flying above the camera basically, but he's just staring at the camera which is actually so awkward. Usually, when a superhero looks at the camera like that, for that long, they end it with a wink. Then they cut to the suit and the logo flying up top. But they didn't do that, just the actor staring at you for like 10 seconds basically.
@FormalPsycho He really needed a way to blink without it being awkward, which is why a wink makes sense.
@FormalPsycho Hey John! 👋 Got reminded of you. For a couple different reasons. I was watching Cloudy with a chance of meatballs which you know they have that big scene with Sirius playing. Then I got two emails from colleges in Boston. Lastly, I had a dream with Chuck.
@FormalPsycho I loved the dream honestly. At first I dreamt that I kept burning things, but then I dreamt with Chuck. At first it was a nightmare but then it turned into a dream. Chuck had always told me I should try a shawarma and that's what we were making in the dream.
I miss Chuck. No one here wants to play ball.
@FormalPsycho I miss Chuck so bad. I love Chuck as a friend. Someone from their system and I have a friends anniversary in October. They'll miss it. I might still write something in their memory though.
Have they returned?
@FormalPsycho They haven't been here since their father threw them out, I had advised them after being thrown out the first time that day, to pack a bag with all the essentials, and I listed the majority of them. I believe they got thrown out again, it seems this time for good. I'm not even sure if Chuck is alive or not. I really hope so.
@FormalPsycho Chuck had come back into their system though. Although if Chuck got thrown out, Chuck could've become dormant again. The reason they had gone dormant in the first place was because of her life so far.
@FormalPsycho I want to ask a random question but if you had to name two children, a boy and a girl, what names would you give them? Abigail and John are not allowed as answers.
Samuel, but I'd call him Sammy, and Claire.
@FormalPsycho Good names. I was sort of tied. I like to keep options so for a boy either Lucas or Marcos leaning toward Lucas.
Then for a girl it's difficult. I'm more sensitive to which I pick. You see my name for example is biblical and a mash up of Maria (in English Mary) and Ana (in English Hannah). My mom's is also biblical but it's actually a man's name, you just wouldn't tell if you didn't know.
@FormalPsycho I'd like her name to be biblical too, not super common but not difficult to pronounce. Nothing to get her made fun of.
@FormalPsycho since I'm Hispanic I actually tried to account for how their name would sound in Spanish too. I could nickname Lucas, Luke. But I wouldn't name him Luke because it doesn't sound so great in Spanish.
@FormalPsycho I know a Samuel called Sammy.
@FormalPsycho I think I found the perfect name for her. Elizabeth and she can be nicknamed Liz, Lizzy, Eliza, Beth any of them. Eliza is actually the name of a women I find to be amazing. She's just so sweet and so beautiful. Also Eliza is a good nickname in Spanish. The name also sounds good in Spanish, maybe even better.
@FormalPsycho So Lucas and Elizabeth but their nicknames can be Luke and Lizzy.
@FormalPsycho thank you btw. I finally found the perfect names. Now I just need to get my future husband on board.
@FormalPsycho now I'm questioning Elizabeth it seems too long, but maybe Eliza makes more sense.
Lucas and Eliza, Luke and Lizzy?
I'd like your opinion.
@FormalPsycho but then I think about how Elizabeth is more classic.
@FormalPsycho Hey John! How's it going?
Please I need company
I left the letters, 12 red roses, a mixtape, and 150 in cash. I sent her a text on a burner and she freaked out thinking it was dom
So she starts calling me frantically, gets all her friends to text me, and she's panicking. So eventually I tell her friend it was me.
Then she and I start texting very slowly
She's dating Shawn now, *** SHAWN
I did EVERYTHING to protect her from him
AND SHE LEFT ME FOR HIM! FOR HIM!!
A man with ZERO promise ZERO future, its Harvey all over again. Can you even comprehend how that feels
What am I supposed to do, she wants nothing to do with me. Like I didn't matter
@FormalPsycho It must be devastating John.
@FormalPsycho Also, that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard of.
@FormalPsycho You are living one of my biggest fears.
@FormalPsycho I have a female version of Shawn and a male version of Abigale.
@FormalPsycho John, have you considered letting Abby go? It would be one of the hardest things you do in life, but you wouldn't be stuck in this cycle of pain.
I cant let her go, she so special
You know how special she is
Ive sacrificed so much for her
@FormalPsycho John, what makes her special to you?
@FormalPsycho Personally, I am trying to let go of my male version of Abby.
@FormalPsycho whenever you see this, I'd like you to tell me a bit about what makes her special, unlike anyone else.
@FormalPsycho How are you feeling today? 💜
@FormalPsycho I will randomly share a dream I had just because.
I had a dream that took place in New York, maybe the 1990s, a place with all brick buildings, and fires were breaking out.
A guy had started one by lighting a powerline on fire. (For whatever reason my POV was the guy's POV.)
Everyone who knew ran because the whole building was going to fall down. The only issue is that everyone else acted like it wasn't happening.
They acted like multiple buildings weren't catching fire, falling, and killing people. They were shopping and enjoying life, getting in the way while the others tried to leave.
It was a woman, an older man, two middle aged men (maybe brothers), a young teenage boy (the woman's son), and a little girl.
The woman seemed Hispanic but spoke English perfectly fine.
She spoke to an African American man, about the possibility of her son's school collapsing, the school was for minorities.
He said "so, I'm just supposed to care because I'm black."
It seems the same man who lit the powerline on fire, was dating his sister, the man didn't know.
So he said "isn't your sister the same girl who never had a Lion King blanket."
And the African man replied "lots of people haven't owned a Lion King Blanket."
"That's true, but, she didn't get much as a child did she, your parents were too poor to afford it."
"No....! Are you.... the man that's dating my sister?"
(That scene stopped there.)
While in the next building they had entered, they soon realized they had to rush out. They were speaking of making one person go a different route. They purposely endangered the teenage boy's life. Without him knowing.
He felt sick once he escaped the building. He asked his mom to help him.
"These bus drivers are crazy, they're driving the wrong way, and not one will stop to pick us up."
"You'd think they'd at least try to bring something like a tank here, they'd shield us well as we make it to the airport."
(That's where my dream ends)
