@MusicCandy @SadMe70 New place to communicate

Hello my friend, it's a lovely day outside.  I just spent an hour out there feeding the animals and doing a few chores.  Back inside now to clean up and then get more of my holiday shopping done.  I'm going to make a photo calendar for my mom online so that's one thing I need to work on today.

My week was ok.  The usual decent exercise and meals, too many treats and alcohol.  Stuck in a rut! School is going well, and this coming week we have a holiday-themed spirit day every day.  I always look forward to that.  It kicks off with ugly sweater day, and I have a doozy that I got in a bag of clothes from a friend who is a former teacher.

I continue to worry about my son.  Big blowup with his wife about two weeks ago.  I can't even bring myself to rehash it here right now but it's not good. Her behavior really worries me and she has again quit marriage counseling because she does not like to face uncomfortable truths about her own behavior.  My son has continued to go, so at least he has someone to talk to, though I don't see the situation getting any better.  She needs to treat her medical issues (hormonal for sure and possibly other mental health issues) and she refuses.  Then he got a bad cold and now has a tooth problem.  There is just no end to bad things happening to him.

I don't have it in me to send Christmas cards or get a tree this year.  Just not feeling joyful.  I am very much looking forward to seeing my local son and DIL on Christmas Day, visiting my mom and other family for almost a week, and the fun stuff at school.  That will be enough for me this year, and those are the best parts anyway.  My husband got me a little tabletop artificial tree as a surprise, that comes with decorations and fake presents.  I didn't really want something like that and have no good place to put it, but I really appreciated the thought. I am taking down my usual refrigerator pics and putting up ones of my grandchildren from last Christmas for the holiday season - it will make me sad but at the same time they are darling pictures.

I hope things are going well with you.  Catch me up on all your news, since I messed up last week and did not write!

Merry Christmas my friend!  I kept looking for your message and not seeing one, not realizing it was on the previous page of messages.  I was actually getting worried about you! I see now that my most recent message had started a new page, and yours was just before it on the previous page.  Phew!  I am headed to my son's in a couple of hours to spend the day with him and my DIL. On Friday I head to my mom's for six days.

We talked to my other son last night, video call.  I got to see my grandchildren playing with a toy that my son suggested I get them.  They loved it and had been playing with it a lot.  It felt really nice to see that.  It's a toy about two feet high with two spiral tracks for little cars.  My grandson especially loves cars and other vehicle toys.  We also got pictures and a short video of them "helping" to mix up gingerbread.  They were having a great time scooping flour from one bowl to another.  

I have spent my break so far doing no exercise at all, and lots of eating.  I'm just letting it all go, and will start over when I go back to work.  Fingers crossed that I can find some strength at that point, and really try to get my eating back under control.  I did spend hours cooking yesterday.  I am taking an enormous shepherd's pie to my son's today, and also a new dessert that I tried out.  It's called cranberry pudding and you cook it in a pie dish, but really it's like a coffee cake.  It looks really good.  I've never made anything with cranberries before except cranberry sauce, and for some reason I decided I wanted to make a cranberry dessert.

I really hope that the device will help Rachael!  My sister-in-law has a bad tremor.  She cannot eat with a spoon, and carries a straw with her to drink with.  Years ago she tried a surgery that did something with her brain (I can't remember the details) that helped some for a bit but did not last. My husband has a slight tremor, and their mother did too, but nothing like his sister.  Does this device send some kind of electrical signals? Does it get implanted somewhere? Keep me posted on that!  I've got my fingers crossed that it will help!!

I hope that your holidays are going well, and that you have some time off to rest and be with your family! Merry Christmas to you!!

I was glad to see your message too. It is sometimes too much with the usual Holiday to do list. I sent some DIY soup in a jar gifts to my sisters and a very few cards. There is a pile of Christmas stuff in the attic, several trees and on and on. I did not get any of it down and I fully intend to donate most of it, but that takes time and gumption to let it go. Maybe next year. My fiance is a lot like your husband in the same way, sentimental . He used the picnic table umbrella that was propping up the giant tomatoes plants to turn upside down and made it look like a tree with lights. And he had an outdoor lighted Santa train set up from salvage I'm sure and put that outside. I wouldn't have done a thing.

Rachael goes to her Dads and he has a lot of decorations and a beautiful tree, so that is nice for her. I just don't care for the effort, and Christmas isn't my favorite holiday anyway. Plus working just takes most of my time.  We had a quiet winter solstice hour at church and I set up for that, and it was actually very calm and peaceful, with just candles and personal prayer, meditation time. That was meaningful for me, and a few people came- it was pretty cold and a lot of the members are elderly. 

Anyway, now I have a cold since Christmas Eve, and I worked that day and now the whole week-end too. but its not terribly busy. It will pick up after the holidays. I have not paid much attention to food, but we did get to the gym most days, but not the walks- too cold in the morning. I am ready for Spring. 

As for the clinical trial with Rachael, it isn't what I thought - not a device that I saw online- its actually a new medication. I hesitate to put her on any medication with possible side effects, but this one seems to be no side effects. There is a 4 week set up and info time before anything oral, so I feel better about that. The MRI/ guided Ultrasound procedure is great for a lot of people, but she isn;t able to cognitively respond during it, which is part of it. We are at the point of having to try something.

I hope you enjoy the time with your new DIL and son, and I'm happy that you got a toy for the littles that you could see them playing with it. A little thing, I know. Abi took me and Fiance to a candlelight string quartet performance, I cant remember if I told you that already, but it was such a nice gift. 

Church is Lessons and Carols this Sunday and i planned to go, especially since it is the one time of year that we have to sing. Our usual service is no music, but they always have hymns at the later one. Hardly anyone sings that comes to 8 oclock, and I try to make that service since I Can, and at least someone does so it doesn't sound totally pitiful. But with this cold, I may not even have a voice, plus I'm an alto and some of them are pretty high pitched. It will go on, either way. Getting through the rest of my shifts and hopefully, this cold will be better.  Enjoy your family time and I'll catch up again later. 

Hello my friend, I had a lovely holiday.  Christmas day with my son and DIL was very nice.  Ate a lot, played games.  The trip to my mom's was also very nice.  My son and DIL, sisters, brother-in-law, aunt and mom were all together on the weekend.  More food and games! On Monday I saw a cousin and a friend from high school.  On Tuesday it was just mom and me for a quiet day together, and I came home Wednesday.

I took two walks with mom, one since I got home, and two exercise videos.  I gained 10 pounds in December, ugh.  My biggest gain in a while.  I feel pretty motivated to get started eating better again and back to my normal exercise routine.  I would like to have more time for exercise but not sure I can fit that in.  

I found out on Christmas Day that my son in Korea was supposed to come to the US for a week of training, flying in Jan 11. We would get to see him over that weekend.  There is some holdup with funding for it though, so it might get postponed or not happen at all.  

The umbrella tree that your fiance made sounds neat! I guess it's good we have them to put some light into our lives.  I was feeling much too dark to do any decorating myself, but I really did enjoy the little tree my husband put out.

We went to church with Mom on Sunday.  Mainly what I like is our visit to the cemetery afterwards, to visit Dad and my mom's parents.  Once mom is gone, we won't have anywhere to stay nearby and it will be a lot harder to visit.  

I am glad you had the winter solstice hour. It does sound peaceful.  I felt more peaceful in general up at mom's.  I already feel anxious and stressed back home again, and for no particular reason.

I am very sorry to hear that you had a cold! I hope it is gone now.  I know it is hard for you to get enough rest when you are sick, since your job is so demanding.  I'm glad it was at least not too busy.

That is frustrating about the clinical trial.  I would also be more willing to try a device than a medication.  I really hope this will help.  Please keep me posted on how the set up period is going.

The string quartet performance sounds wonderful!  I really miss seeing live music.  My older son was in three music ensembles in college so we went to lots of performances of various types of music, from jazz to classical.  I am so glad you got to go to that!  It sounds like a really nice gift!

Did you make it to Lessons and Carols?  I hope you felt well enough to go.  My mom likes to listen to that on the radio every year.  

My weather app is currently showing that we are getting 11-14 inches of snow on Monday.  Yikes!!  I would like to see some snow, but that much makes me nervous as far as losing power and being able to get out of the driveway. Maybe the storm will disperse a little!

I hope you fare well in this upcoming snow, and that you are feeling better now.  I missed my chai last weekend since I was away, so I'm off to make it now!

Have a good week, my friend!

Hello my friend, how are you faring in the snow?  We did not lose power, thank goodness.  I actually built a snowman on Monday, to use as a backdrop to record a book called Snowmen at Night for my grandchildren.  I have not been doing many of those lately, but I have some snow books that I haven't done yet since we had so little snow since they were born.

I don't know when I will next be able to drive up my driveway, which is long and hilly and partly in the woods.  I put my car closer to the road near the neighbor's house before the snow.  He can clear that flat end of the driveway with a snowblower on his tractor so I can get out, but I have to schlep up there in snow pants and boots, then take all that stuff off, and that is getting old!  Plus have to carry groceries etc back up here.  I remember that we used to pull stuff up on saucer sleds, but I can't find them and I think I got rid of them a while back!

I am pretty sure we got an Amazon delivery last night, so who knows where they put that!  I will go see in a bit.  I need to take a plastic tote up there for other deliveries this week.  On Wednesday morning, I knew the neighbor had plowed so I went up to clean my car off, and found it already done by the same neighbor!  He is such a nice man! 

School was out all week, which is a mixed blessing for me.  It's always nice to sleep in, but I did not get back to my regular exercise routine, and continued to overeat, so I've gained two more pounds.  As the week progressed, the depression started to seep in - too much inactivity and not enough distraction to keep the darkness at bay. Once the depression starts, I do even less, and feel worse - a bad loop to get caught in. I'm going to have a hard time readjusting to getting up at 5 and rushing all day with not enough sleep, but mentally and physically I need to get back to work. 

I hope you are well over your cold by now!  My mom has one and I am worried about her getting pneumonia, but she is taking good care of herself, and last night was a little better than the day before. I'm glad Rachael did not catch yours!

What happened with your fiance's endoscopy? My husband has had to postpone his medical appointment twice.  There is no way to get him to the road because he cannot walk up the driveway.  It's now scheduled for two weeks away.  He gets shots in his eyeball to help with the macular degeneration, and he has noticed it getting worse since the last shot.  

My son's trip from Korea did not happen because funding did not come through, but just as well since my husband is trapped here and could not have gone to see him. He would have been arriving today.

The Indian food sounds so good, and just right for this weather! I love lentils, tofu, and veggies!  I'm glad you enjoyed the meals! I have been so sluggish this week that I have not cooked anything at all. I went out yesterday and ran errands that didn't really need to be done, just to get out.  While I was out, I got carryout including a nice warm chickpea meal for me. (Also got a box of chocolates and ate the entire box, ugh.)

Here's to hoping that I go back to work on Monday! I hope things are going well for you, that you are feeling better, and getting lots of warm, nourishing meals! 

Hello my friend, well this week was better, mentally and physically. I did my morning exercises 4 of the 5 days, the one day off being one where I slept really badly.  My sleep has not been great this week despite my sleep aids. No walk because of the cold and snow, but I did my yoga class. Also my meals were good and I ate fewer treats.  I took off two pounds quickly, which I expected, just from eating less sweets and exercising some. The next ten pounds are going to be the tough ones. 

The distraction of work helped me mentally.  I'm not great, but not terrible. We are into midyear testing, so the schedules are all messed up and I'm doing lots of covering classes etc. and not many lessons.  I find that very frustrating, but still I am out and my mind is busy, and I do like talking with the ladies on my team when we are alone in our office.  We let out our frustrations with the job, husbands, and menopausal crap.

I hope that you are feeling better mentally as well.  I know that once I start to spiral, I care less and less about getting happy again.  It's an awful place to be. I'm so glad you have your new students!! That sounds like an excellent way to boost your mood. The extra money is definitely a nice bonus. For the first six months or so when I started tutoring, I didn't spend any of it.  I just liked seeing a stack of cash accumulate in the drawer!

It sounds like your new car is great!  I'm glad you are enjoying it and that it is good in the snow! My car is not 4 wheel drive (my last one was and that gave me more confidence) but it has some kind of "snow mode." I don't even know what that means, but I turned it on the first couple of times I went up my driveway.  We still have snow and ice on the part near the house, but the hills are mostly clear.

I'm sure it is frustrating for your fiance to have cardiovascular problems when his lifestyle and diet are so good! Getting older is just a mess.  I hope that it can be managed with continued good diet and resting when he needs to, so he doesn't have to take the meds or keep dealing with specialists.  

The water crisis sounds terrible! I'm sorry Abi and Mark had to deal with that. We keep some bottled water in the basement in case of power outage, but it's a few years old now.  I should probably have a look at it and see if it is expired.  I don't even know if water expires!

The story about the nurse is just horrifying.  It is absolutely inexcusable. Big companies care nothing about the people they serve or their employees.  I agree that most of them are all about money, and power.

I hope you have not been feeling down too much this week, but if you are, this is where to pour it all out.  It helped me last week just to type it all out, and know that someone who understands is going to read it.  

I hear my husband in the living room building a fire - we finally started having some last week during the snow - so I'll go make chai and enjoy it in a toasty kitchen.  (Then I will get some exercise bringing in more wood - win/win!)

Have a wonderful week, my friend!

Hello my friend, I am glad that my message gave you a lift! You are so good listening to all my woes, I am glad to sometimes be able to send a cheerful message (as you say, at least as cheerful as we are able to get!)

I had a pretty good week again.  I did go down another close to two pounds, but back up again.  I'm disappointed but not too worried because during the week I'm eating better including less sweets, and did my morning exercises and my yoga class.  I'm still drinking too much alcohol. Last night we had carryout from an Indian/Nepali place that opened last year.  I think I might have mentioned it before.  It's not as good as the one in LaPlata but it's close and some dishes are really good.  I got an eggplant dish, an interesting side dish with roasted soybeans in lots of spices, and only ate a very little piece of the naan.  So it was fairly healthy but still high calorie (sauce on the eggplant). 

This week was more testing at school, so I covered a K class one day and 1st grade two afternoons. We had two two-hour delays for the extreme cold weather (this was new to me when I got to VA - if we had done that in PA we would have had two-hour delays all the time!!) which slowed the testing down but I think it is all done except for makeups with absent kids.  So this coming week we should be on a more regular schedule, and in another week or two they might re-arrange our groups based on all the test results.  It wasn't really stressful because the classes I covered aren't bad, and the days go quickly, so I've also not been feeling depressed between the distractions, the better habits, and the routine.

I tried to walk outside one afternoon this week and lasted only 10 minutes! My mom did not leave her house from Saturday until Thursday this week.  She is going stir crazy. Her road (a dirt road) has sheets of ice still on it in some places. My driveway up near my house is also a sheet of ice.  I've been using hiking poles with spikes to get to my car because my sneakers have terrible traction.  The rest of the driveway is mostly melted.

Were you able to get any outside walks?  I'm guessing not, or at least only short ones.  I'm glad you've at least got the basketball court, though I'm sure that is a bit monotonous.  At least you and Rachael are together, which is better than walking in circles alone! I don't blame you about the food court - all the smells would drive me nuts.  If there was a cinnabon and I had to keep walking past it, that would probably not end well!

As for my tutoring, I'm hoping to see him this coming Monday.  We did not do it over the holidays, or the snow week, or MLK day, and the grandmother cancelled the one other week in between.  They also cancelled some before the holidays, so it's been a while since I saw him.  

How are your piano students coming along?  How many total students do you have now with those two?  I hope the 5 year old stays interested! So young kids start just on black keys?  I never knew that!  I've never learned to play the piano but wanted to very much when I was younger.  I loved playing the clarinet.  Lately I've started messing with the music course on Duolingo, where I do my Korean lessons.  It's keyboard based and I've been having fun with that.  My boys both took to the clarinet quickly. The older one started in whatever grade the school started (4th maybe).  We started getting him private lessons later with a wonderful guy, and so my younger son was interested and started getting lessons with him too before he started playing at school.  

I love thrift store clothes!  I have quite a few things from the Goodwill, and also from our local thrift store.  The ones from our local thrift store were given to me by a lady who used to work at my school and who also volunteered at the shop.  She would see stuff she thought would fit me and just bring it to me!  My own personal shopper! Also the lady I tutor for has given me about 5 garbage bags of clothes over the last two years.  I take what I want, and the rest goes to the thrift store.  Plus I have some clothes that are 20 or more years old that I still wear (ok, mainly tops since I can't get into the bottoms anymore).  So I have a huge amount of clothes that were all cheap or free!  

That is very nice of you to have gotten those coats! You would not believe the amount of coats that kids leave at school and never go looking for in the lost and found.  They used to be in a giant heap but somebody finally got some racks and there are three racks, about 5 feet long each, crammed with coats.  I hope that eventually they will donate them somewhere.

This turned out to be a very long message! Thanks for reading it all!

I've got to go out earlier than usual this morning, so I don't have time for the chai. Maybe this afternoon, and definitely tomorrow morning!

Until next week, my friend!

my message disappeared, ill try to get back to it.. the Listener thing popped up and then my message went away. I enjoyed your note, and I hate that I have to do some patients now. They don't pay me for my looks, as I always say!

Hello my friend, a frustrating week for me.  The muscle in my behind that kept me sidelined for months has flared up again.  I still exercised each day, but focused on upper body and very mild cardio.  No lunges or squats, etc. 

Work was very stressful this week.  Lots of people out sick (17 were out on Monday).  The vice principal just came up with this rotation scheme where three teams of paras will each be a sort of first string substitutes every third week when they don't have enough actual substitutes.  My team was up this week we all sat around cringing every day waiting for the list to come out.  I had to be a special ed para three days in a row, working with kids I have no idea how to handle (the sped teachers and paras were VERY kind to me and helped me tremendously).  Meanwhile, the 26 kids I serve every day in small groups are falling farther behind.  My teammates were mostly covering full classes and often older kids, which is no picnic at all either. By Thursday my stomach was in knots in the morning and my anxiety was super high.  I dreaded going in there every day, not knowing what I would be doing.

I ate well all week until last night, when I just stuffed my face and drank too much. My usual go-to for stress relief.  But, the week ended on a good note when my son video called us at about 8:30 last night and we talked with him and watched the babies play for over an hour. I can't believe the nonstop energy!  

Finally some warmer weather!  Were you able to walk outside this week?

How did the annual meeting at church go? I hope it went well and that people stepped up with the food!

I know this is a short message.  I'm just feeling out of sorts.  I should have a pretty restful weekend to recharge.  I'll go get that started with some chai!

I hope your week has gone well, my friend!

Hello my friend, I can't believe I did not post last week. I don't even know what I was doing. Well, here I am this week at least! We missed 2 more days of school and today is a teacher workday, so it was a light work for week. Unfortunately it was also a light week for exercise and I ate a ton of junk. One teacher and my mom gave me Valentine's candies, and I ate an ice cream sundae at a party in a first grade classroom yesterday. I had been down 7 pounds, now back up 3 of those.  An endless cycle!

I am taking advantage of the long weekend to go see my mom.  I'm leaving in about an hour. I'm glad the weather is cooperating!

My big news is that my daughter-in-law has agreed to bring the babies over here for a long visit this summer! It's not all nailed down, but I will fly over soon after school ends and stay about a week to visit with my son. He does not have enough leave to come over. Then she and I will fly back here. I've rented a beach house for 2 weeks here in Colonial Beach so my mom and sisters can come. Then we will go up to my mom's for a few days so we have some pictures and videos of the babies at the home of their only living great-grandparent.  Then she will visit her "aunt" (her mom's close friend) south of Richmond, and then back to our house. Lots of moving parts. If no one from her family can fly over to help her get home, I will have to do that.  Not looking forward to that part, but totally worth it to see my grandchildren for a month.

The other bonus is that when she asked about staying at our house part of the time (could have knocked me over with a feather), I didn't know where we could put them. My husband says he will clean out the boys' old bedroom which is now his "office" which means giant junk pile.  I will be sooooo thrilled to have that cleaned out!! God knows where all that stuff will go, but I hope he realizes it ALL has to be out of that room because those two little ones will get into everything they can get their hands on or climb on.

Did you find any better day support options for Rachael? I can't imagine how tough it is to find something suitable. After you retire, will you continue with a day program for her? I definitely understand wanting to be closer in case of emergency! 

I'm glad you got your extra walks that previous week. I'm guessing it was tougher this week! I certainly didn't get any walks in this week. I skipped yoga last week because of my butt pain (still have it, sigh). I did yoga last night though and just took it easy. There were fewer things that would aggravate that muscle anyway in last night's class, so it was really fun and I'm glad I did it.

I'm glad to hear about the new younger lady at church!  Hopefully she can serve for a long time since she is young.  Sounds like she would be someone intelligent as well. Did more than 2 people come to the Tea?? I hope so!!

I am going to pack.  No chai this weekend for me! I hope your last two weeks were good, my friend!