Ni and Eva Safes Talkie Corner 💕

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

hey ni 🩷 i miss you. i hope you’re okay, wherever you are right now. you’ve been on my mind a lot.

um.. i’m not sure if you’ve been on cups at all, but uh.. i plan to leave. and i just wanted to make sure you know that you’re an amazing person and an even more amazing friend and nothing’s your fault. you’ve kept me here for much longer than i probably would have been if i was alone. thank you. you were, are, and will always be enough. don’t ever forget that. you’re strong, beautiful, kind, funny, fun (yes, they’re different, and you’re both), understanding, empathetic, and you can do whatever you set your mind to. you’ve got the determination in you, you just need a little motivation sometimes. once you start, you’re unstoppable. 

i’m sorry for leaving you. i didn’t want to. i really, really didn’t want to. i didn’t predict that i and my life would get this bad either. but it did. there are some things that i can’t really explain but they’re things that make living kind of.. unbearable. believe me, i’ve thought about it, i’ve tried to convince myself that change is possible and that it might really get better one day, but i.. just don’t see those unexplainable things ever changing. and it just isn’t worth it. i can’t deal with it. 

but hey, don’t confuse yourself with me. we’re different. i mean, not that different, but what i mean is, just because i wasn’t strong enough, doesn’t mean you aren’t. you’ve had difficult times before, and you’ve overcome them and survived them and got through them. i do genuinely see you getting better and your life getting better and you having a good future. genuinely. promise to keep trying, okay? you can do it. i know you can. i believe in you, with all my heart and all my soul. 

i’m sorry if i hurt you. if me leaving, hurt you. it’s okay if you’re sad or mad at me or disappointed or confused, or any other emotion there is. it’s valid. but you’re not responsible, okay? you’re the good character in my story. the helper, the healer, the friend. if you want to forget about me, so it would hurt less, please do. i don’t want you to hurt. i never liked seeing you hurt. i promise not to take it personally. 

i love you like i love the stars, the pink or blue or purple skies, rivers and oceans and seas, night skies, snow, winter, music.. times ♾️. you’re really important to me, i hope that’s clear by now. i never stopped looking up to you. don’t ever forget that no matter how lonely you might feel, there are people who are happy to talk to you and help you, right here. you don’t have to be alone. if you need help, ask for it. that’s bravery. that’s strength. 

i’ll be in the clouds at daytime, and stars at nighttime. i’ll feel your hug when you hug your pillow. i’ll know it when you think of me. i’ll be there when you need me. 

i’ll see you one day, when it’s time. until then, stay strong and keep going 🩷

💗🌸⭐️☁️ eva ☁️⭐️🌸💗

eva…? 

it says last active september 2024. You left the note august 27. August. i saw it 20 hours after you posted it, Eva. 20 hours later. were you alive? were you there? i-… 

what would have happened if i'd gotten my *** together and replied then. what would have happened if i didn’t neglect you, if if i was a decent friend. you were always there for me when i needed you, eva. i wasn’t there for you when you needed a friend. I just wasn’t. you may have told me i was a good character, i was a good friend, an amazing one. but it just… isn’t true. i wasn’t, eva. 

yeah, I had stuff going on. everyone has something going on, i think for some it’s alittle worse in some aspects than in others. some people have safer homes, some people don’t. yes, i was dealing with my own things. but you were too.

you understood me. you showed me you cared about me. I cared about you too, i care about you and love you. my twin. my… twin. But i didn’t show it enough. i should have.

I'm sorry. it hurts so much. on your birthday when i told you, your life means something to someone, i didn’t lie. That was one of the truest things i ever told you. your life meant something to me, you meant… mean, something to me, you were…

My friend. my buddy, my twin, my Eva friend, my Eva bean, my Eva buddy. my sister. 

are you…

gone? 

i can never forget you. i won't. 

i'm sorry.

@justmeeva 

i think about you every day. 

you were far more valuable than you could have ever imagined. i didn't show you even a fraction of that, eva. not even a fraction.

where did you go…

im sorry for everything 

at the same time i wish you knew, i want you to know, it’s not your fault 

idek what im saying 

I miss you 

if your out there 

i hope your ok