Depression and Personality Disorder
I hate waking up every day. All I ever do in my spare time is sleep. When I sleep, I have no thoughts or feelings. I was recently diagnosed with having an Avoidant Personality Disorder. I've also been struggling with depression and an anxiety disorder for the past couple of years. I was put back on Effexor and go to therapy every couple of weeks. I barely eat anymore. I have 2 meals in the past 10 days. I don't feel the desire to eat. I don't even have any hunger pains or stomach growling. I don't know how much longer I can go on living like this. I pray to God every day that He will protect me and save me from this. I love God. I just hope He is still here for me.
Hi WittyCar. I don't know if this will help you or not, but it may be comforting. So apologies in advance! When I read this it honestly felt as though I was reading my own thoughts. I am in a very similar situation to you. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, major anxiety and major depression. Most days all I can do is sleep as you say, which means I won't sleep later on. I'm sorry to hear you are suffering. I'm glad you have God there to provide comfort and hope and to remind you that you are not alone. Some things that help me: I know you have probably been told to do distractions and that you probably don't feel the slightest inclination to do anything. But sometimes it may distract you and take up even ten minutes of your time where you don't feel so numb or empty. Talking to people could help, just an old friend or a family member on the phone. When nothing else helps and I can no longer sleep music sometimes helps, It makes me remember there are emotions. This has been said to me and although it didn't help me it may help you. This feeling is only temporary, you won't feel this way forever. Well done for posting this. That took courage. I'm glad you have seeked professional help. To me it often feels as though they are not helping and you may feel this way but if you don't tell them how you are they won't know that you need help so I encourage you to do this. God will always be there to comfort and help. 7 cups of tea has helped me a lot knowing there are so many people out there wanting to support and help you through this difficult time. I encourage you to keep coming on here, it makes you feel less lonely. That's the end of my rather long reply haha. Of nothing else you've got to the end of it! Hooray! I wish you happy thoughts and hugs. I hope it has been useful to you. You've helped me today by posting this. I know you are a strong person, so I have faith in you :)
Hi Toughwater, First of all thank you so much for your kind words. Those were some of the most supportive and comforting things anybody has ever said to me. And you're a perfect stranger! I was initially shocked and confused when my doctor said that I have a personality disorder, mainly due to the fact that I had no real knowledge of what it was. But then I researched AvPD and it described exactly how I've been my whole life. I was also told that I have borderline features. I'm sorry that you're going through a similar situation. It is debilitating to deal with these mental conditions. I pray that you find peace and joy just as I am trying to do. Your words, believe it or not, had a very positive impact on me. If you ever need to talk with someone who can relate to you, you can always message me. Stay strong ☺
Thank you! You can alway message me as well :) we can help each other :)