How to trust people?
I've had this app for a short while but yet to make much of an effort to connect with anyone on here yet. I have problems with anxiety and quite often steer well clear of interaction with people.
Social media for example I avoid as I fear being bullied or harassed by random people. Im the same in the town I live in. I keep to myself, don't really engage with people. Not because I'm anti social per se, it's that I fear being judged and treated badly by people.
Obviously I have very little faith in people. Human beings are known for their hatred for each other. That's been proven throughout history with people hating others for differences such as race, sex, religion, etc. People by their very nature are judgemental.
So rather than risk being subjected to the hate of others, I've gone the other way. I've withdrawn into myself, become isolated and cut off from society.
I know this isn't exactly healthy and honestly it's tiring being weary of the world. In an ideal world I'd like to actually have friends and feel less like I do not belong in this world. But how can you know who to trust in this world? I don't know.
I suspect if I post this then I'll likely get negative feedback. That is normal, I expect it from people. But I don't think I'm the only one out there who feels this way. So if there's anyone out there who does understand what I trying to say. If be curious to hear what you do to try find a place to belong or fit-in in a world that's full of hostility.
Maybe my perception of others is tainted by experiences I've had in the past. Not everyone out there is bad and out to harm you, or will judge you badly I know. But it's very difficult to know who you can trust.
Hi there, and thanks for sharing about how you feel.
I’m very sorry that, for whatever reasons you have, you find it hard to trust others and feel that others are very judgmental of you. As you say toward the end, sometimes, negative personal experiences can contribute to these kinds of feelings, but regardless, how you feel is valid and perfectly acceptable, if still unpleasant. No negative feedback here :).
We’re all here for you, and this is a place where judgment and prejudice isn’t tolerated. I hope that you’ll be able to see that for yourself!
Always feel free to reach out,
@ShneurZ
I completely understand where you're coming from, and how you feel. It's so hard to trust people when you've been hurt so many times. It's interesting that you pointed out history being full of atrocities and dispute. And the fact that tragedies historically repeat, reinforces your view that humans are hateful, and I get that. When you're surrounded by pain and fear, it's all you are familiar with. It's true that history has many atrocities. Despite that fact, many fortunate acts come from humans too. Love and joy do exist but it's easier to focus on what's evil because it's a threat. Humans are naturally inclined to remain vigilant of what's negative because it risks the joy we could lose, and that's terrifying. So it makes sense to lose faith in people because it's so easy to spot out what is bad. I've been there before, but I learned there are good and bad people everywhere, it just depends where you look. I also have a history of being treated terribly, so it's easy not to trust people. It is so brave of you to open up, you're not alone. What helped me is speaking other people who have been hurt similarly, and they will welcome you lovingly. Intensive outpatient therapy really helped
@CatDude
Hi
Totally relate to your Post on this too. And am the same, keep to myself, only keep closest Family close, 1 very good Friend. Only hang out with this close Friend once in a while because ultimately I get disappointed with him too and not sure what his motives are occasionally.
Have been very jaded by Life and its Treatment for a long time, so do not trust easily, and keep people at a distance. Because I am now older, and was once young, Single and having lots of Social Life was more important, being alone more often doesn't seem to matter or hurt quite so much.
At the same time, Trust is earnt not given, and that is the best Advice I can give you, stick close to real Support, like on these Forums or wherever you can get it.
Being impartial and distanced from that Emotional Support can help with our own Feelings of Low Self Worth etc, so reaching out and finding strength and support in Online Communities can often be the very best Therapy or Hope we need.
I wish you all the best in finding that connection and support.
