Advice for Dealing with a Favorite Person bond
i have a close friend that I roleplay with who has ended up becoming my favorite person. I had no idea what a favorite person was before this, but I’ve had relationships like this before and last one I’ve had ended very badly. Before taking a break from my current favorite person, he was all I would look forward to being with and when I couldn’t spend time with him, I would become irritable and jealous. I felt like I couldn’t live my life without him. He felt like the only way person I looked forward to spending time with.
I had to stop roleplaying and take a break from him for awhile because it was becoming too intense for me and he was starting to feel pressured. We only recently started talking again, but only days at a time. I told him I didn’t want to start roleplaying again until I have enough tools to navigate through the relationship in a healthy way. Where we stand right now, he currently knows that he is my favorite person and has been extremely supportive. He recommended this app so I joined.
Any advice for dealing with a Favorite Person dynamic and how to diffuse it would be appreciated. <3
@PassionateGrapefruit604 Hey, I can see that you have been trying to work on the dynamic in various ways and I am glad that he has been supportive about the thing. You seem to have a good idea of what's going on and what you're doing. You're aware of the dependence component and make changes accordingly- taking breaks when it's intense, for instance, is fairly effective. It also helps to change focus to yourself so you do not feel negative emotions when you're away from him. This can mean engaging in activities that you like to do alone, self-care, and so on. Finding other people to also spend time with can also be helpful. The focus is on diffusing the dependency you have on one person- the way you go about doing this can vary.
Apart from that, boundaries are always nice to have. You seem to have placed a few already- like not roleplaying until you have enough tools to handle the relationship in a healthy way. You will notice yourself when certain things do not work out- too intense, stressful, etc. In those cases, actively putting up boundaries can be helpful.
Having coping mechanisms in place is also generally helpful. Journaling, DBT skills like mindfulness, time management, etc.
I am not an expert and different things work for different people but I think you'll be able to figure it out. Also, welcome to 7cups!! Feel free to connect to a listener if you want to talk about anything. Have a great day ahead! 😊
@PassionateGrapefruit604
A favorite person bond can be really intense and really hard to break and i see you trying. Its lovely that your fp is so supportive. Im sure that with time and effort you'll be able to get a hold over it. I believe in you. Take care of yourself<3
