Am I Borderline?
I was just wondering if I am possibly borderline or not. I'm diagnosed with a psychotic depression, OCD and anxiety. I think that those may conflict and that might be what I'm experiencing, but just in case, I've been experiencing these symptoms at a slowly increasing rate for about a month, and they have recently got to the point where they are incredibly prevalent this week:
• Being manipulative for money, nothing major though. Just the occasional ten bucks to spend.
• However I do tend to overspend a lot, thinking I can somehow make the total be under budget. This does not put me in pounds of debt or anything, just the occasional fine which my parents have to pay.
• Shakey relationships with a past romantically involved person. We still remain good friends but our relationship usually takes downfalls because of my actions. For example, they say they meet someone similar to me. I say now they don't have to worry about me and they can replace me (I frequently say these things to get attention and to know that they still care about me) and they get mad and leave me alone.
• I have very unstable mood swings, one today almost sent me into the hospital. I liked the attention that I got even though I was in danger (kind of?).
• I'm afraid of being emotionally abandoned by people I have stable relationships with. Shakey relationships cause me to lash out in my mind when I see them, I have to try hard to contain my temper.
• Intense boredom.
• I threaten myself to see what answers I get, to see if they still love me and I know I'll get cared for afterwards.
I would appreciate it if someone could help me out with this because I've been questioning myself for awhile now. Thank you for the help, if you do answer!
@OceanMermaid
Thank you so much for reaching out and for you being brave and disclosing your symptoms to the community. One thing I can say with certainty, is that even though your symptoms can align with the BPD diagnosis, the only person who can give you a firm answer is a medical professional.
I can definitely relate to some of the symptoms you've mentioned, and I want you to know you can always reach out to me if you want to talk through some of them.
All my love,
Lee.
Hey there @OceanMermaid ,
when people have any kind of a psychosis, doctors don't want to give diagnosis of a personality disorders to them, they give the diagnosis when the psychosis is cured or in remission. Why ? Because patients tend to have many symptoms of personality disorders, but it all comes from psychosis.
But like @ItsLee said, it's better to go to the professional and see is there something wrong or not. Feel free to talk to them, they're here for that stuff and openly tell them what you think you might have.
Good luck!