Am I the only one?
I have been diagnosed with BPD (now referred to as Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder), for over 5 years now.
And not once, through assessment, diagnosis and treatment, did I ever have the symptoms commonly referred to as/by 'I hate you, don't leave me'.
Is it just me that doesn't 'fit in' anywhere? Others with BPD accuse me of making it up, because I don't have issues with interpersonal dependence.
People without BPD accuse me of making it up because that's the only symptom they an think of, thanks to biased media and fictional coverage.
I have serious trouble regulating my emotions, and emotional responses to various situations, which is essentially the main symptom. I have difficulties establishing interpersonal relationships, and I react in ways considered 'wrong' to experiences that 'ordinary' people react 'correctly' to.
And yeah this is full of quotations, because there is no exact yes/no answers to BPD. Or, even, to life.
But I can't be the only person separated from every potential social support forum because.my symptoms don't match exactly someone else's, can I?
I welcome any opinions or information, supportive or opposing, but I don't want to have to listen to anybody telling me that how I feel is wrong, or that my many, many doctors and nurses and assessments have got me wrong. I don't want to hear the word 'wrong' at all in fact, because that just isn't the point, is it?
Why should I be the only one?
@JustKay
Wrooong.
Wrong way of thinking in the first place. Were you expecting people to tell you that doctors or whatever could've possibly got you wrong ? Because it's wrong : they can't possibly get you wrong. Nor can they get you right either. The very basis of any psychology related matter is to try to slap a pattern on a large collections of individuals. But humans ain't computers : minor discrepencies happen all the time. As much as they'd love to claim they can explain all of humaniti's behavior, only a case-by-case examination could do that, and we're about what ? 7 billions ? Was it 8 ? I lost count. So you can't possibly fit in their system in the first place : you could onl fit in it to a certain degree. For some people it'll be high, others low. But there's no "fitting in".
Now m guess is you don't care about that right ? You just wan to know why you only fit in less when others fit in more. Well rest assured : how could you possibly be the only one ? As their system is imperfect, dozens of people don't get exactly or at all what they need or aren't even offered that. It's wrong to think that you'd be the only one.
So here you go. People matching eachother's symptoms exist in the first place ? Wrooong. But surely mismatching to the point of being unable to fit in te system is something rare that HAD to fall on you. Wrooong. It's pretty common, in fact.
@JustKay
I don't think you're the only one. It must be pretty frustrating to have people tell you that you don't have BPD when trained professionals have diagnosed you. I don't have the typical "I hate you, don't leave me" symptom either, but I never question my diagnosis because the other symptoms are so strong. You just have to meet 5 of 9 criteria (or that's how it used to be, not sure how it is now) to be diagnosed, meaning you may not meet every single one. I've known plenty of borderlines who don't experience the "I hate, don't leave me" symptom. You're definitely not alone.
@JustKay
Doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists are only human and can make mistakes which leaves you feeling misunderstood and frustrated which is why diagnosis is quite a controversial thing as it almost seems like putting you in a box with others and putting the lid on... also next to that box is many others and sometimes they aren't quite sure which one should be in the next box or the one they are in due to many overlapping symptoms. How does having a diagnosis of BPD affect you? How does it feel when someone says you don't have BPD because of the variation of relationships with people?
It is indeed a difficult one but no you are never alone. I am sure many people on here have experienced critical stances regarding their diagnosis... as humans we all want to be correct and find reasons for everything. I think sometimes we should just go with it and accept things as they are without needing a reason for everything.
Thanks so much for reaching out :)
Lisa
@JustKay
That is really interesting - I am pretty similar to you I think. I am not really driven by the trauma of abandonment - which causes all this love you / hate you stuff and being unable to be alone and so on.
But, people who think that this is the one defining aspect of BPD simply havent understood things well.
@JustKay
