BPD and Managing emotions at work

@Borderline95

Such a good question! I found stress balls to be helpful. I destroyed so many of them already lol. I keep them around the house, desk at work and in pockets of my jackets/hoodies. This way they’re always there.

Do you have any ideas?

@Borderline95

Perhaps taking a break, a 5-10 minute "time-out" would work? Going to the balcony or out on the fresh air and having a short walk with yourself. If you are a smoker like me, having a cigarette might also help (knowing that this is not the healthiest option at all, but right now just something that popped into my mind as a possible option).

Then, maybe venting to a good colleague at work - if you have such a person at work whom you trust.

Also, using that upset energy to work furiously on your work (this one depends on whether you are doing deskwork or working with people, but maybe it could be applied in a positive way in each case).

Doing some quick breathing techniques. Taking yourself a few minutes to focus just on your breathing pattern: 4 seconds inhale - 4 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale. You can visualize a flower inside a circle that gets bigger with the inhale and touches the corners of that circle, and when exhaling it becomes smaller.

I hope this helps! ❤️

@Borderline95

Like @Bunny1637 had stated. I am known as to be abrasive. Anxiety style response or polar opposite.

My therapist refers to it as "Hats".
So first, the minute you feel you might have an automated response:
Work Hat is on? "Shoot me an email and I will get on it." Then change focus.
Out and about? "You got my number, shoot me a text and we will see where it goes"

The goal at hand for you, is to give yourself the time to be in the right frame of mind to provide an appropriate / responsible response. And for them (if there is an issue) "it is in writing and can hold me responsible (accountable) if I do not perform and so on.

What we don't want is to be destroying <fill blank>.

You can work it your way beyond this for then people will see the canned responses and will (potentially) shoot you an email first and come see you. Here is then my next 'Canned Response' or automated response:
"Thank you so much. Sorry haven't gotten to it yet. Let me finish this and I will follow up with you ASAP. Thanks"

Hope that helps. In time you will be able to flip hats back and forth as needed.

I do breathing exercises, like 2 inhale and a long exhale https://youtu.be/aRBKlJImxys

If possible I take a break- even if it’s just going to the bathroom or stepping outside for two minutes and I’ll watch a funny video or call a friend who can make me laugh and remind me that it’s okay. If its a really bad situation I collect myself and if need be, go to my boss to tell them what was going on and what support I need. Your boss can’t discriminate because of mental health and some work places even have employee wellness programs- I am honest with boss up front about mental health and only one time did I not get support (which was ironic because I was working for a behavioral consulting company) but that boss was a horrible person in the long run and looking back I should have taken legal action, but anyways I didn’t want to work for him anymore anyway since he wasn’t supportive. So if it’s something really bad or happening over and over I would go to admin/boss/HR to get help. Not sure what is an impossible situation for you, but if it feels impossible it might be worth it to talk with HR or a boss about support programs or figure out how they can support you (like working in breaks when you need them or other accommodations). But in short term, like I said I try to take a quick break and get my mind off of it or even text a friend if I can’t step away to call and have them help me put it into perspective. In the long run your health is more important than anything, and there are always other jobs if you feel like it’s not a good fit for you at this point. I’m sorry you are dealing with this! These are just things I do- not trying to give advice because I don’t know your specific situation and I don’t want to make it worse- but, hypothetically speaking, these are some things I thought of when I read your question. Good luck!