BPD and Relationships
I have the quiet type of borderline personality disorder and it combined with my anxiety and depressive episodes makes relationships really hard. It's freakish watching myself warp into different people to please everyone else and keep them close, but the minute someone starts liking me, I can't associate with them any more. Or I feel like I've fallen in love or whatever and I try to let my guard down and connect with them but I just can't! It's like those stories of a girl locked in a tower guarded by a dragon, but I'm the girl and the dragon and I even built the tower. I want so badly to surrender myself but I can't... let go.
Please say someone can relate?
I can really relate to this! I've had a lot of failed relationships simply bc I lose interest. I don't know how it happened so quickly, but I'm almost two years into a relationship at the moment and just now figuring out how to be vunerable with my partner. and otherwise emotionally open in a way that works for both of us. I would really recommend therapy or a counselor to help you process emotions, that's been really helpful for me in my relationship and in general. Besides DBT I work on processing emotions and situations and feelings and it really helps me feel better about my relationships, romantic or otherwise. It's definitely hard work, in the past I've given up on a lot of relationships but if you really like the person, work is worth it.
You're not alone.
