Can someone help me?
About a year ago I was diagnosed with BPD. At first I was managing pretty well but as time goes on I realize more and more how little control over it I really do have. About a month or two ago it became the worst it ever was. I split on my boyfriend so many times and so badly and ever since then it feels like he resents me and my illness. He has forgiven me and we are working on our relationship but I know it will never be fully repaired unless I start taking action to get better.
I want to get help but it's so overwhelming. I don't know what to do. I think of getting help and I get all choked up and foggy and end up needing help to calm back down from a panic attack. My boyfriend seems to have given up on us. He's much colder when I talk to him about my BPD and ask for assurance and validation and seems unwilling to give anymore unless I get help. I understand where he is coming from but it hurts so much to be treated this way.
I don't know what to do. I just want to curl up and die. I hate myself for pushing away the most important person to me.
@sal0 Hello there xxx
Bpd is very tough, especially when it messes with our relationship :/
Your boyfriend seemed to be supportive at first, but now he is not as much, eh? :/ I am so sorry about that... *Hugs ya*... I don't quite know how to help you in this one but you could try having a big talk about it all with him. Or maybe encourage him to learn more about bpd. You could also let him know that you do care a lot about him, despite your mental illness.
Oh and lastly, have you tried any therapy for your Bpd?? :O
If you are short on money, there are great self-help guides here which can help for Bpd: https://www.7cups.com/help-managing-emotions/ , https://www.7cups.com/startup-support/lesson1.html , https://www.7cups.com/act-therapy-techniques/ , https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/
They are in order of which I find more useful for you.
This one is GREAT too: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/self-care-for-bpd/#.V2ViUlR95dg
Best of luck xxx
p.s. do connect with me when you feel the need :* <3