Dealing With Delusions of Abandonment
So, I'm kinda on and off with this one, so yeah
But earlier, I was having a panic attack and wanted to die because I thought all of my friends had abandoned me-all because I hadn't received a message in skype for a few hours. It's honestly very distressing because I genuinely believe it and I panic and can't think straight. Does anyone else experience it?
If so, how do you deal with it? Do you let it be or do you have a specific coping skill? I just need suggestions because I'm honestly lost.
Hi, my situation is slightly different. I have panic attacks regularly fearing abandonment. I feel like my family and friends are going to hate me and I start having a panic attack and getting suicidal over why I'm such a terrible person.
In in those situations I guess my coping mechanism is praying, because the thought that there is someone up there who could make things ok for me again is comforting. However if you aren't religious I'd recommend writing your feelings down in a diary and taking very deep breaths slowly.
Hope that's some help, good luck! And remember we're all always here to talk :)
Unfortunately, I'm nonreligious, but I will try out the second suggestion! Thank you!
I fear abandonment myself all the time. I start panicking when my friends wont answer their phones, reply to my messages to late, don't talk to me for few days, cancel our meeting or especially when I find out, that they've met with someone else and in my mind it means that they don't have time for me.
Usually I get really angry and mean to them, I accuse them of neglect etc. It makes the situation even worse, because they got mad too.
To calm myself I try reassuring myself, that it's all in my head, they're my best friends, they won't leave me just like that without a warning and they have a right to spend time with others or themselves.
I simply stop and try to understand my feelings, reasons for my actions. I hope it helps you somehow
Oooh, I see
Does it help when your emotions are very intense? Do you write down these affirmations or just repeat them in your head?
When they're intense, this technique doesn't work for me, I haven't mastered it yet. In this case I usually get angry, say some nasty stuff.
I repeat that inside my head, trying to calm down
i get that a lot, too. i try not to show it in public but, get a melt down when i get home. i just had one a few minutes ago. i had one yesterday, too when i came home from work. but, somehow, if i text or call someone, luckily someone will respond. i think i have the wrong kind of ppl around me. only a few good ones. i'm thinking i have to be brave and change friends slowly. do u feel the same way/
I think its a good idea to change people you're surrounded by if you feel they no help. But you have to be sure. I have this pattern of first idealizing someone and then, if I feel threatened, immediately devaluate this person not to get hurt.
As to melt downs - I've probably cried in every possible public place lol
The thing about the abandonment literally ruins my whole life.. I understand you all.
I'm on and off with this too, either it's me pushing people away trying to avoid being abandoned, or me trying to surround myself with people or just being so anxious I don't care who's around and who's not. Such a blend of disorders!
In regards to coping with it, though, I just try to stay as realistic as possible. I'm a very logical person, so I take comfort in facts. If someone doesn't message me, or if plans get canceled, I just take it for what it is. I think of what I'm doing or what happens to me in these situations. I imagine the other person in these situations, and know they'll get to me soon. If they don't, then okay, get slightly annoyed, but it doesn't mean they're abandoning you! Helps me a little :)
I had a perfect illustrative situation yesterday. I was supposed to meet with a guy in the evening, but he didn't contact me for a whole day. The closer to evening hours the most anxious I felt. And when he didn't reply to my text, I immediately felt abandoned, rejected and unwanted, it cause physical pain in my chest and I felt like dying inside. I didn't cope with it well, so instead thinking clearly I started to gorge to stifle emotions.
I'm not proud of it.