Friend has BPD. Need help communicating with her.
Hello!
So I don't personally have BPD (I'm dealing with depression and anxiety though) and I have a friend that I really care about that I have a hard time talking to. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells whenever we speak because there's always something that I say wrong and she's constantly triggered. I just want to help her. I'm trying my best to be a better listener but she's hurt my feelings before and I don't even know how to bring it up because I'm afraid it will upset her. She's burned maybe bridges and I want her to feel like she can talk to me. How would you recommend talking to her when she does reach out? Half of the time she won't talk to me because she thinks I don't care even though I've told her multiple times that I do. We both know it's her BPD. Any advice? How can I talk to her without being absorbed by her negativity?
Thank you! <3
@SadKitty93
"You only have room for one on your boat, if you try to save someone you can't save... You'll both end up sinking."
What I mean by that is you're struggling on your own as it is with your own problems, why're you trying to help her with hers?? I know you mean well but you're triggering her without meaning to which is more harmful than good. Unless she finds professional support I don't think she'll be able to find a way to handle her emotions without constantly feeling triggered. You should let her know that you love and care for her as her friend but until she recieves help you can't (or won't) be able to be there for her as you have your own pressing problems.
Its hard to be there for someone with BPD especially when they break down at every chance you talk to them.
I hope this helps you in some way.. I'm worried for both of you and hope you both find a way to cope with what you're dealing with.