FuturePsychologist2 - My diary; Bipolar&Borderline

All of my problems started in my 4th grade(yes, that's really young isn't it?). I was depressed for my first time then. Whole two schools bullied me and I was behind some building and crying. I was absolutely alone in that, because my parents weren't there, I was on some school trip. Remembering that hurts, hurts, hurts.

In 5th grade mania came. My first mania, in my whole life. Yup, that young. I was all excited about everything even if it's just going to some market, I just jumped all over the town(lol literally!) and I thought I was some celebrity so I gave autograph to some kids. Isn't that scary ? And everyone was secretly making a clown of me, and they acted kindly, like nothing's happening. I laughed all the time, I had bunch of friends, I had 3 blogs where I was actively writing, I was never home and things seemed to me really nice, like I finally found happiness and like it actually exists, because I thought it doesn't.

Time after time, people started to tell me that I'm really annoying, too talkative and such. Everyone started leaving me. Nobody was reading my blogs anymore, I was fired from all jobs I had as a kid(there are special jobs for kids in my country) and everyone told me that I'm too "fast" for them.
I didn't mind, I was happy anyway, but time after time I fell into depressive episode, which lasted from my 6th grade till my 8th grade. I don't want to describe it, it's really triggering to me.

In my first year of highschool I had mania again, and it was awful, that's the only thing I can remember from my manic episode, everything faded. And now I'm in a depressive episode again, Gosh, it sucks!!!!

I started with medications in my 7th grade. I'm still drinking them, of course, but not the same ones.

Ask anything if you want, I will answer. This thread will be a diary to me, I hope it's not a problem. I need to vent somewhere sometimes very long.