Hard as hell but pushing thru

Most people who have BPD know all about the rages, fits and extremely anger especially surrounding abandonment or harsh/unfair treatment. My entire life, and believe me I am not a kid anymore, I measure my life now in decades not years, I responded with a knee jerk reaction to every slight, everyone who pushed me and didn't say excuse me, every injustice, etc with blind rage. Today was the perfect opportunity to be as I have always been, and despite all my muscles clenching I refuse to submit and let her win.

I had a major issue with an Ebay seller who lied big time, so bad in fact, I reported her, something I never do, and she finally lost and send me back the money with a note saying ' You're cracked ', normally that woud make me fire off a barrage of insults, a few curse words perhaps, but to take the high road - never. She sent a whole bunch of emails defending her exemplary behavior ( NOT ! ) and that she may report me, that I am giving her anxiety, yada yada yada ....

Bottom line though it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do as I do not lay down and die when called names, I decided to read then delete her 5 mails and not respond. In this particular case it is a major victory for me as a BL and proved sometimes in silence we get the prize of peace.