I dropped out of college because of bpd
Does anyone have advice?
I'm diagnosed with bpd. I used to be a nursing student, and i was already in my second semester. But lately i couldn't attend classes because my symptoms were too strong and I couldn't Even get out of bed, therefore my grades dropped and eventually they kick me out.
The good thing is i can go back in September, but i have to start over.
But i still feel very sad and disappointed in myself. For getting so far in my life then ruining it.
I don't know what i'm going to do these months, how i am going to hold on until September.
I don't have access to a therapist right now so that makes things worse.
I'm so Lost.
I'd appreciate if somebody could offer some advice if you can, or encouragement.
I want to offer some encouragement. Now you are more self aware about your symptoms. You are still able to go back to school so take it as a step back in order to learn and grow as a person. One must take a few steps back and observe before committing in with their full strength. Give it all you got next september! Good luck!
@outcastShadow thank you 💕
@Valentinaddmc
Well.. I'm no good at advice or encouragement myself but I'm really trying to be more positive myself. It's a bit embarassing. Your welcome. I guess if that helped.
Now you are more equipped and more self aware and in control of your life and dreams!!
It's your second chance, make it count and don't fear to make mistakes.
its you who have to know it's alright , everything is good as long as you dont stop/overthink and just keep on pushing towards what you want.
@magicalSunset26 thank you 💕
@Valentinaddmc
I have only just seen your post and you may no longer need support. I just wanted to say though that you are wise to seek help but I don't like you blaming yourself for your borderlininess. Those behaviours are part of what was handed to you in childhood. When we borderlines get overwhelmed our functioning drops. You are not to blame. I don't mean you mustn't pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start all over again. We are all here to help you do that, but none of us want you to feel guilty, it is not your fault. Guilt makes matters worse. In children of neglect it leads to shame because we were always made to feel ashamed. I KNOW. Sorry for shouting. I battle it in big and small ways all the time. It doesn't seem fair but it just is and there we are, the only thing we can do is accept it warts and all and do the best we can. There are oodles of materials out there now to help us and people here or on Quora (have you tried there?). 
@Valentinaddmc
I'm sorry I'm just now seeing this. I had a lot of trouble with my BPD in my undergraduate education. It took me 8 years to get my Bachelor's Degree. I want to get my master's degree, but I'm so afraid of going back. I found that working with the office for students with disabilities (yes depression and anxiety symptoms count as a disability at school) helped my professors be a little more understanding of the times I couldn't attend class. I think understanding and having insight into your symptoms can make a huge difference.
@Valentinaddmc
Isn't it our nature to look at our genuine struggles and not seem to see it in others?
It sure is for me!
I spend a lot of time staring at my belly button, I call it, quality bellybutton staring ;) and I have learned a lot about how to be my own wingman, looking for moments when I find myself getting overwhelmed and to pull back before it becomes too much. I realize that it affects the amount of time I spend to accomplish things. It was awkward and stumble-y in the beginning, but it really has helped!
If this resonates, look me up and we can chat some more!
Good warm feelings come your way,
Bob
@BobsRattledPan
I loved the quality belly button staring!
