I need help, but have trouble expressing it.

My life reads like book where Chris Mccandless meets Huckleberry Finn, written by Jack London. I was born with a high ranking military officer of a Dad, who was never around growing up, but that's trivial. My mom was always there for me, she is the rock in my life. She started noticing issues with me from a young age, lack of eye contact, didn't talk till 3, prototypical autism symtoms. By 5 I was diagnosed with ADHD and doped up on ritelin. By 7 I was being verbally abusive. By ten, I started killing animals and stabbing things with my dad's expensive knives. By 9 (we were in Hawaii I was getting my ass kicked on a daily basis) it was getting worse. The whole time I kept good grades though, and did phenomanally in sports (gymnastics and soccer). I blamed it all on my parents, I pitted them against each other daily. I home schooled in middle school in the Middle East, and had no social interaction with peers my age. By 14 I was getting physically abusive and was sent to a Behavioral Heath Center (Mental Hospital) in Alaska where we lived at the time. I was there for 20 months. I was a Junior in High School when I got back and was very academically advanced. I was extremely socially lacking. I basically went from Grade School to 11th grade without normal social interactions. After high school, years of tense interactions with my parents (my mom called it "walking on eggshells" which is accurate), mutiple diagnoses (ADHD, ODD, possible conduct disorder, Austism Spec. Dis., Bipolar 1, Major Depressive Dis, Anx. dis.) I moved off to college. I was 17 live on campus by myself. I did alright; academically, average. This is in Alaska. It was easy, so when I turned 18 I decided to try to get my own apartment. I had an under the table job. I rented a room in the shitty part of town with a little bit of cash. For some reason I decided to quit my job; which eventually lead to me getting evicted. I had a good relationship with my manager, I just felt like it was the right thing to to... I felt it in my gut. I had a few hundren dollars I left but no where to go... I went to go stay with a friend for a few weeks while I figured out what to do. I went to Thurday and Tuesday night fights to make a bit of money ( got my ass kicked a lot). I finally came to the conclusion that I need to leave alaska. I became depressed. I didn't know what do do. I layed on the couch all day except for tuesdays and thursdays. I had to get out. I was the middle of winter, so I got a plane ticket to Seattle/Tacoma Int'l one way. I was a little more than a hundred dollars. I need to pack for a trip. I had to get a all weather tent, a sleeping bag, a backpack, gear for a cross country trip. My original plan was to Hitchhike across the US. I knew nothing about hitchhiking. I did some research and found a blog about people that have done it. Feburary 28th 2017 I left. I landed and felt a sense of pride, for the first time in a while. I took a train down with the $30 I had in my pocket. I walked around Seattle for afew hours and found the I5 and started. I hitchhiked all the way down to San Jose over the next two weeks, where I got a bike. I discovered that hitchhiking is way too easy. I wanted to bicycle across, so I did. I started in San Jose and rode to Santa Cruz where I officially started my Coast to Coast trip. I did a mixture of Hitchhiking and bicycling to get to the otherside, with safety in mind. I'll be honest, I should have died MULTIPLE times on that trip. I honestly don't know how I didn't. I don't understand... I got to Pennsylvania in June where my Grandmother lived. I stayed with her for two months working at a farm and a warehouse under the table. I wanted to do something with my life. I knew working this deadend job I had was not going to do it. I had to do something. I joined the Army in July. I was scared shitless. I left for BCT the next month. I had so much trouble socially. My mood was out of control, I held it together in front of the Drill Sergeants, but they knew EVERYONE hated me. A lot of them did too. I never did anything that they could really take action on though. I graduated. In AIT (more training) I experienced even more mood swings hourly/daily. Upon reflection I realize this had been a thing throughout my life. I don't know how I've made it this far, but I need help, my luck is going to run out. I need to get along socially. At AIT I try to just stay in my room where I can stay on my computer and remain *fairly* unbothered.

**Other things that have been constent in my life**

Being able to make friends NEVER being able to keep them

Hypersexuality

Passive-Aggressivness

Manipulation

Self Destructive Behavior (about to be sucessful in something then things just.... go wrong.... I dont know how)

Anti Social Behaviors

Hyper Social Behaviors

Lying... a lot

I just need help. There are a lot more details but too little time to type them. If you have any questions ask.

What should I do?