I think I may have BPD?
Hi
I am Lu and I'm 14 years old.
I feel like I don't fit anywhere. I don't fit in my family, I don't fit in school.
I don't trust anyone, not even my family. I avoid having long relationships with people. I tend to over idealize people and then they disappoint me.
I have a lot of anger outbursts and I feel really sad but at the same time I feel so empty, so numb. Nothing can fill me.
I feel the necessity to be alone but at the same time I need to be with someone, but all my relationships with friends and family are instable and strange.
Sometimes I think I'm god almighty, but ten minutes later I can be crying over how stupid and useless I feel.
I have serious mood swings, I can't cope with them, they make me feel so tired and sad, I just want to die but no one's there to listen to me so well, I came here
Hey... I was kind of the same way when I was your age. I'm 22 now and looking back I realize a lot of what I felt was just me not allowing myself to connect with people. Focus on making strong relationships with your family and friends, even if you can't always relate to them or they "disappoint you." Just be there for them and they will be there for you and you'll realize how much they do care. Don't isolate yourself because that will make things worse. You could also look into taking natural vitamins for your mood swings but it doesn't sound like you have BPD. Talk to your friends about how you're feeling. It will help a lot :)
