It's such a long journey

I've been diagnosed for about 5 years now. A I moved 2 years ago and since then haven't really attempted to look for a new counselor/therapist. Now where I used to live was such a small area. I went to a counseling center in the county over and paid $10 on a sliding scale. I now live in a major city (well to me but not nearly as large as NYC) and I don't know where to start. I've always been the time to put things off for so long because I couldn't just call and make an appointment or ask anything. So now I'm trying to manage it all on my own with no support really but for a boyfriend that it's probably the best for me. Long story short I'm so overwhelmed and feeling lost

I want to get help, get better but I cantc seem to actually do anything to help....how pathetic. This really is a long journey.