My long distance boyfriend suffers from BPD and disappears on me sometimes
My long distance boyfriend has these periods where he shuts off communication out of the blue for almost 3-4 weeks. He doesn't do this all the time, it's just the third time in a year and 4 months. I still feel panicky during these times tho, keep worrying about him not coming back. I just wanted to know if this is something people with BPD do and why they do it. I wanna understand him better so I can stay calm and collected during times like these.
Hi there @versatilePine389, how are you? I am really sorry your post went unanswered for such a long time... This subcommunity has been experiencing some up and down and has gone through a few changes lately, and even if this is not an excuse I hope it will help you see that what happened was certainly nothing personal.
How are things going with your boyfriend? I find it very nice that you are trying to understand him as best as you can. It really shows how much you love him.
I have BPD and I do sometimes kind of retreat from people I love. I would never ghost them or anything like that, but they sense I am sort of running or pushing them away. I do not do this with the intent of hurting them. I am simply trying to protect myself. It may happen because I am hurting for instance. I may suddenly be sure that they are going to leave me. Or they may have done something that has deeply hurt me, even something minor that noone else would think could have such a devastating impact. Sometimes I simply need time alone.
With BDP, you are deep down convinced that you are not worthy of love. You think everybody will eventually abandon you. So you may find yourself doing things that will actually contribute to this happening... not consciously of course...
I hope this helps. Sorry again for the late reply.
