New to the BPD....

Hello All,

I just wanted to introduce myself, and to chat with those who can relate to me. I will tell you a little about my background. I am in my 20's a victim of extreme Child Abuse and Neglect. I was bounced around from foster home from age 10 until about 17. I have never ever seen a healthy relationship. Bouncing from each foster home, I took on the identity to fit in with each family. I can not make rational decisions. If I don't act on something right away, I won't do it. I never admit to any wrong doings. I am so nice to strangers and I am mean to those I care about.

All my relationships start with me "wanting them", then the moment I get them, I am done with them. This seems to be the way it is with every relationship, even those non-romantic. My emotions are always all over the place. Stability is not something I am accustomed to, and it scares the crap out of me. I have a son, whose sperm donor, I envy in a way. He was able to have a kid with none of the responsibilities or financial obligations. I hold grudges, and will stay mad for days at a time...

I am really trying to connect with people, and get help. I haven't been DX'd with this disorder, but it fits me to a T, with a few other things I am sure. I am not depressed -.- I am pretty cold and distant towards people. I am known for being stubborn, and when I say stubborn meaning nothing changes my mind...