Overwhelmed

Background info I have borderline personality disorder. I have a 3 year daughter I'm married to her father and I'm codependento him. Every relationship I've ever had has been abusive(emotional, physically, mentally) I don't even know how to be in a healthy relationship. Even my non-romantic relationship are some how abusive. My husband and I have been on and off for 5 years it has not always been physically abusive in fact it's been over 2 yrs since an incident. But recently it got physical to the point I actually believed I wasn't going to survive that day. He is currently in jail and I have forgiven him however don't want to be in a romanticrelationship with him. My problem is no one lets me feel how I want to feel I want to put it behind me and forget but I'm not being allowed to. The prosecutor is threatening to have me picked up by cops and brought to the court house to testify. I get the why but I'm not needed to still go through with the case he is willing to plead out. Then social services is "suggesting" I get divorced and a restraining order. 'm completely out of my comfort zone.My family are being extremely negative and belittling myfeelings. All I get from my "support system" is I told you so and maybe if you listened to us. They are making the situation worse.All I want to do is move on but I'm being made to speak constantly about it.im so overwhelmed