Relationships
Hi, I'm Emily and I keep going into denial that I have bpd, but the guy I was dating triggered me and then had keen observations about how my personality is inconsistent. It was through text and I felt attacked so I tried to defend it rationally, but apparently it wasn't rational to him. I finally waved the white flag and basically said good job Sherlock I have borderline personality disorder.
Now, I feel like a freak and am ashamed that I told him because idk how he's taking it. I am super triggered having to revisit the symptoms and how I'm not normal. I keep thinking about self harm again.
How do you manage dating? They'd be biased if you told them too soon, but if you don't, then you feel like you're wasting their time because they'll eventually find out and not know what to do.
@Greenducklady
Hi Emily, it can be incredibly challenging to come to terms with a diagnosis, especially when it comes to conditions that can carry a lot of stigma. Firstly, BPD doesn't make you any less worthy of love and understanding, it's just one aspect of who you are. As for managing dating while living with BPD, it all depends on what you feel more comfortable with. When disclosing earlier, I feel that you will then figure out if the person will understand you for who you are, while also establishing open communication. If they start seeming biased as you state, then you will know that this won't be a person who will love you for who you are. I hope this makes sense. But, if this doesn't make you comfortable, you could also wait until you've established full trust and a deeper connection. Make sure that you feel comfortable when disclosing your diagnosis and also the impact that it might have on your relationship if they are not educated with the condition. Prioritizing your own well-being in a relationship is also key. In terms of managing triggers and self-harm urges, it's essential to have a support system in place. I know this is a lot of what I've said, but take this with a grain of salt. I'm not sure if this helped at all, but don't be ashamed of yourself. You've got this :)