Relationships and BPD

@aimlessanomoly

there are videos on this on youtube. some of those are pretty good.

I also would like some insight on this. My wife has borderline personality disorder and it’s just really really hard sometimes. Her spending habits have put us severely in debt but any time we try to talk about it she swears that she’s doing better and not spending unnecessary money. She tells me when I bring it up that it hurts her that I can’t see that she’s trying and that makes her want to stop trying. This obviously makes me feel like I can’t bring it up so then we don’t talk about it. Unfortunately she also isn’t able to keep a job so financial stability falls on me. I recently had to quit a job that I loved and always wanted to take a job that pays more and yet we’re still not financially stable. Besides this I’ve completely given up the thought of having children with her because I don’t feel like I can depend on her and I wouldn’t want to put our kids through that. I realize this is probably very unhelpful but I feel a little better for saying all that.

I'm dealing with this and have been for a while. It's a tough road if ypur not armed to deal. I struggle when my fiance is at her worst, its only happened once with me. But I do well with keeping her grounded. I am constantly reinforcing her confidence in us. Loads of " I love you's" "you matter" " your special". And above all validation that her feelings are important. If your a lovey person its not hard, but if your more the middle line of effection it can be tough.

My best advice is reinforce every opportunity you can. I wont lie sometimes it's like walking through a minefield. But set boundaries on how much you can take and stick to them. Show all the love you can and be patient.