Trauma Therapy
I am in therapy. It has been helping me a lot to deal with daily life. To improve many of my coping and life skills. I'm going to start discussing trauma today. I feel so much pain right now, even thinking about talking about it. I'm not comfortable talking to my therapist about how I feel, about ascepts of myself. I don't know if I'm embarrassed or judging myself. If I think she is judging me from a clinical perspective. Therapy is too expensive to avoid this. I need to rip it out like a band aid. Stop dancing around the issue. I hate this so much. However, I'm getting older. I want to not be ruminating, maintain relationships better and cope better. Learn to love myself in a deeper way. I just feel like it's a rabbit hole and it keeps getting deeper. I keep splitting thinking about this. I feel so resistant to reveal these parts of myself, even if the purpose is healing. I'm going to get through today. I need to get through today🙏
Hey @understandingCamp1248,
I know it's scary, to open up to someone you don't know about things that are deeply personal. The clinical setting makes it harder for some people, rather than easier, too. Does it help to remind yourself that your therapist is literally getting paid to do it? The best way for them to do their job is to hear from you all the really complex issues, the things you're struggling the most with.
If you went to the doctor and the doctor asked for your medical history, you wouldn't leave out your past illnesses, would you? Your doctor needs to know so they can treat you more accurately. The same is true of your therapist.
You don't have to recount every detail, at least not at first, and it depends on the type of therapist. But if you can take one small step, perhaps tell your therapist that you have trauma surrounding [whatever it is, past abuse, violence], and maybe give one or two sentences of description, then see what kind of follow-up questions they ask? You may find it easier to tell your story with specific prompts from your therapist too. Remember that you aren't telling your story just to tell it -- you're sharing so that your therapist can better help you.