I have BPD but my ex boyfriend (now friend, weirdly) developed a lot of coping techniques for dealing with me..
He would never let himself get roped into arguments when I tried to start at him over little things which did help diffuse situations a lot.
Although when I fell into periods of hating him (more often than not towards the end) it was impossible to use any sort of coping techniques. Although it's weird because I loved him and still do. That's bpd for you I guess.
As I'm feeling rational today I can understand how difficult we BPDs are when it comes to relationships, but when romantically involved with someone, everything I do seems totally justified and I think that must be the same for a lot of people. So go easy on whoever you have to support if you can :)
Relationships are the hardest for me. I have extreme abandonment issues. It drives my boyfriend crazy at times..
Dealing with red tape and people with poor social skills. I am well mannered, and always say excuse me when I want to pass, sorry if I brush into you, I hold doors open for people, if someone drops their bag, I help them pick up the contents. I do poorly and feel the anger rise when someone does not hold a door open for me and lets it slam right in my face, or I say good morning to the cashier and am greeted with a blank or sarcastic stare.
I know the book I love, ' The 4 agreements ' teaches never to take anything personally, their behavior says things about them, not about me, but as a borderline, keeping that sense of fairness and rage in check is a very big deal for me
When supporting my friend with BPD I always try and keep myself and the relationship positive (even when she doesn't want to hear positive things). I always tell her how proud I am of her, because she's beautiful, because she's strong, because she got help when she needed it and because together we'll never stop growing.
