I've ruined everything and I don't know what to do

Going to give some background below, but the whole point is that I don't understand how to talk to my now ex in a respectful way and not make it all centered around me. I don't even know that I'm doing it, and honestly can't recognize it at all. 

My fiance and I got into the same fight that we always do. I did some really horrible things and treated him really poorly in the past. I was diagnosed with bipolar I, but he's convinced that I'm BPD as well. He just broke up with me. I'm starting to read more and more about BPD and I think he's right. I hit pretty much every symptom, especially the impulse control, being overly sensitive, and the anger.

We were trying to work it out and I got really angry and told him I needed to cool down. But he kept texting me and so I answered all in anger. Now he's packing all of my stuff up from our apartment (I've been staying at my mom's house) and is completely done with the relationship. He's the only person that ever tried to help me get help, but I didn't think there was anything wrong with me. I really want to change, and I've been trying to. But it's not working at all. 

I know that it's probably over over, but I love him so much and I don't want to lose the relationship. I've never felt this way about another person before, ever. But I don't know how to, or if it's even possible, to fix this. So now I'm sitting at mom's; no job, no relationship, exactly one friend that lives in Europe (I'm in the US). 

Can someone please tell me if this is normal or at least happened to you? Please tell me that this has happened to you. I hate myself so much right now, and I feel like I'm going to end up just rotting at my mom's for the rest of my life even though I know I'm capable of so much more in the world.