Take a REST: a DBT Skill for Distress Tolerance

Dear all,

This week we are going to learn about the REST skill.

R.E.S.T. is an acronym for Relax, Evaluate, Set an Intention, and Take Action.

REST will help us improve our Distress Tolerance and more effectively cope with overwhelming emotions. It is a useful skill we can resort to when we have noticed a behavioural habit of impulsivity caused by overwhelming or painful emotions. The hardest part of changing unhealthy habits is remembering what we want to do when we feel overwhelmed. REST helps us pause, think, decide, and then act mindfully.

How does it work?

The first step of the process is to relax. To do this, take a deep breath and pause. Stop what you are doing. Step away from the situation that is upsetting you for long enough that you do not act impulsively. Create some space between your desire to act impulsively and your actual reaction. Do your best to remind yourself that this is an opportunity to behave differently. It could be helpful even to say ‘Stop’, ‘Relax’ or ‘Rest’ out loud to remind yourself to not react quickly.

Next, ask yourself what the facts of the situation are. It is a quick evaluation: you do not have to have it all figured out and you do not have to conduct an in-depth analysis of yourself. Just do your best to have a general sense of what is happening for you physically, emotionally and mentally. Some questions to ask yourself can be ‘How do I feel?’, ‘What is happening?’.

The next step is to set an intention to take action. An intention is a goal or plan that you can set for yourself. Often, this is a self-soothing activity that helps you to relax and recenter. The intention may also have a larger goal such as improving communication or problem-solving strategies. We will learn many coping skills that we can use to help us set an intention.

Finally, take action and put your plan in motion. Moving slowly and with awareness helps the intention to be more effective and decreases the likelihood of impulsive reactions to take over.

This may seem like a lot to do, but with practice these steps can be completed in a few seconds and become a newly developed habit. Be aware that sometimes we might need to use REST more than once in the same situation.

✍🏻 Can you identify and anticipate situations when you will likely need to use REST?

✍🏻 Try and use REST the next time you are dealing with an upsetting situation and overwhelming feelings. Share with us how it felt for you.

Sources: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook