[TW] existential dread and questioning

I used to be "normal"

That was a year ago

That was before the pandemic

Before I found out

Before I gave up

I used to care

About what others saw in me

About what my friends thought

About what happened to the world around me

And then I stopped

I stopped thinking the cis-het as normal p

I stopped being the calm one

I stopped following any rules

I stopped trying to be what I thought I was

I used to know something

But now I don't

I don't know what I to do or when to do it

I don't know how far I can go

I don't know who I am anymore, no more than the next person

I thought I would be free once I let go

Now I am but none of my friends understand

This might be, is, worse than before

Everything is pointless or the most wonderful thing to exist

But you never know till you try it yourself