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Watching rain from below

User Profile: azurePond
azurePond October 6th, 2025


You told me how you sank beneath the skin,

Where the world’s loud colours blur and thin,

And how you looked up, holding your own breath,

To watch the quiet silver side of de.ath


You said the sky was not a thing of blue,

But a quivering film of mercury you

Could almost touch, a ceiling, tense and clear

Then you described the reason we are here


You said the rain, that drums on us, my dear,

Is not a storm to anyone down there

No whirlpools spin, no frantic circles race,

But something softer comes to take their place


A sudden crater, a collapsing crown,

A ring of light that pulls its shimmer down,

Then from its heart, a fizz of stars released,

A bubble chain for some dr0wned wedding feast


A needle of a spike, a liquid spear,

Drops down then vanishes as you draw near

And all the while, a muted, plinking chime,

The rain’s own heartbeat, keeping perfect rhyme


You said it was a kingdom turned upside down,

Where the storm is a pillow and the sky might dr0wn

And listening to you, with your eyes so wide,

I saw my own world from the other side


And I knew then, the truth I now confess

You have made a wonder of my emptiness

You dive where I only see weather's frown,

And return with a universe too brief to belong.


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User Profile: Tulipsmile
Tulipsmile October 6th, 2025

@azurePond

WOW pond ✨✨✨✨✨Your poem is truly captivating and  beautiful 🥺🥺💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

The whole idea of escape and transformation really got me. When the speaker mentions "sank beneath the skin" it feels like more than just a physical dive it’s a deep descent into the subconscious where the "world’s loud colours blur and thin 😯

And the imagery of the rain from below. Absolutely stunning and incredibly original! Taking the rain that drums on us and turning it into a sudden crater, a collapsing crown and a fizz of stars elevates a single drop into a tiny, cosmic event. That's a beauty we simply can’t see from the surface🫡

I think the two most powerful lines for me ....

 "You have made a wonder of my emptiness"  and "You dive where I only see weather's frown"

This is a 🌷♥️magnificent tribute. It beautifully captures the power of a person who can find depth and beauty where others only see a void or sadness. Thank you for this wonderful piece of writing✨✨✨✨✨

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User Profile: azurePond
azurePond OP October 10th, 2025

@Tulipsmile thanks-thank-you.gif

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User Profile: mytwistedsoul
mytwistedsoul October 6th, 2025

@azurePond This is amazing. So much depth, and yet it hints at so much more, that this is just a glimpse of the surface. 

User Profile: azurePond
azurePond OP October 10th, 2025

@mytwistedsoul thank-you-youre-welcome.gif

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User Profile: twerp
twerp October 7th, 2025

@azurePond

"Where the world’s loud colours blur and thin" *aggressive snaps*

User Profile: azurePond
azurePond OP October 10th, 2025

@twerp thank-you-thanking-you.gif

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