The Cardinal

Can you see how the cardinal caws in my chest-

I know you can’t- no one can. 

But it does. It sings even when the frost of winter

Melts into a peaceful spring rich with hope.

Its last note will haunt me until I die.

How I’ve tried to show you

The feathery monster that taunts my sleepless eyes 

But don’t you know? I can’t.

Its stuck in the cage of my ribs-

A cage I didn’t know I had created-

Until I padlocked the door with a lead key.

And you believe that the cardinal and I are one:

When its melody escapes my lips- 

You thrust credit of the song upon me.

And I’ve screamed the truth- into your ignorant silence-

That I am merely the stage on which the cardinal performs

But you only cast your eyes aside. 

And it's your fault too- it is-

All the sludge you pour down my ears- 

It cements the bird inside my heart. 

It coats my lungs with shrapnel- it makes me wheeze.

Yet even now you toss me shallow prescriptions and flimsy books.

And I’ve tried them- of course I have,

But how can I swallow pills with a shriveled throat-

How can I read words when the cardinal’s symphony 

Beats my chest and rattles my head. 

And what infuriates me most-

 what douses me in unbearable heat,

Is knowing that I could have set the cardinal free-

built it a home instead of a prison.

And I could have hummed along

 when it sang its heartfelt song.

It would have been my friend- 

a companion I could count on during lonely days.

But I pushed it down and shut it out-

I was fooled by your poisonous command.

And so I leave you with one final thought-

To take with you like a searing tattoo-

The real monster isn’t the cardinal-

Its me and you.