new rap song - feelings (wip)

This is the past me, mad me, and it saddens me

Why me and you, our bond it was happily

ever after, you were saught-after

Now I'm here enjoying the soft laughter

Of people who don't take me real, 

I sit on the window sill

Wondering who of us payed the bill

Even if I lost the money?

Was it worth it? Sure it was funny, 

Butterflies in my tummy

It started back in [_], the peak, 

For a small little boy like me to be honest it was bleak

I didn't think I had any chances, 

If I was gonna fall from the cliff, there would be no branches

To catch me if I fall, 

So I decided If I was gonna ball I would ball

From A to Z, from start to finish

But one wink turns into crazy stuff, innit?

I liked you since Day 1, you were not anyone

I would've done anything, you were the sun

The way you sang, you were a dancer, 

But staying in the sun too long gives you skin cancer

A tumor, inoperable or benign, I guess it was a sign, 

when after camp, you didn't say bye

That's what left me sore, like bruise

I guess that's what life is, girl, that's the truth yeah

Feelings,

What are the meanings?

I haven't seen them?

Love feels like endlessly dancing on the 

ceiling, I had to leave them

When you left me

Alone, waiting for the good-bye

But I wonder, did I really bring the thunder?

Or was asking so early to big of a blunder

Or were we ever supposed to be torn asunder?

Was it my expectations, or the bus you threw me under?

I shouldn't wonder, it'll be time to forgive

When you come back to me to relive

What could have been, girl, but thanks for the larping

You treat my like ***, girl, no need for sorry

Sometimes your actions are louder than sentences, 

Since you didn't speak to me, now that I mention this

in which dimension it's possible to question this

action, which from me, didn't get a reaction

subconciously, i knew that it was gonna happen

this whole situation is just nerve-wracking