How to Unwrite
You first appeared in the margin of a stained notebook—
March 13th, steam rising from my spoon,
Your initials lingering in my throat.
I wrote rain that night. You turned it to ash.
I tried to write about sparrows once.
You became the hawk in every line
I tried to write a world without you:
Field. Rain. Windowlight.
But you stole the f from fledge and left ledge—
A ledge where my words now stumble.
Even my mother’s violent hands, mid-poem,
Molt into your beautiful ones—
That dinner, your grip on the chairback,
A semicolon between hostage and host.
My father’s laugh, caught in a stanza,
Twists into your voice—
Nice poem. Shame it’s missing something.
(Your thumbprint bruising the page’s edge)
The voices said be kind, be quiet, be a mirror,
So I hid you in the commas,
And I buried you in subtext
But you unearthed every shard—
Dug up the night I wrote pen and meant knife,
Inked the walls with my cursive screams.
Now, even my odes to rain chant your name:
Flood.Flense .Flinch.
I try to rewrite myself,
A woman drinking coffee at midnight,
Free of you
But your shadow seeps into her cup,
A stain she swallows like a final sentence.
Now,every poem is a room you’ve rearranged:
My childhood pond? You’re the rock in its throat.
The bread I baked last Tuesday?
You’re the knife cutting it just so.
I don’t write your name anymore.
I write Ides, Coins, Prophets—
But there you are, with a chain on the I,
Sweeping the -des- under the rug.
"Kill him in the draft" I whisper.
But you resurrect in the whitespace,
A verb conjugating in future tense—
He will. He does. He is.
.
.
.
(This is a work of fiction)
@azurePond wow! That's another amazing work of art 💖 you capture the heart and viewpoint of every character in your poems so very very well💖💖
@Tinywhisper11 Thank you so much Tiny Whisper! 💖 I try my best to bring each character's perspective to life....so hearing this makes me incredibly happy! Your support and kind words truly encourage me to keep writing💖💖
@azurePond never stop writting, you are amazing 💗💗
@Tinywhisper11 Thank you so much, Tiny... I will never stop writing...writing keeps me sane (well...eh..Half sane?)Thank you so much once again...You are amazing ! (hugsss)💖
@azurePond 💖💖💖💖
@azurePond @PineTreeTree happy birthday sweetie 💗
@azurePond
All I can say is how amazingly glad I was to see that final note at the end your poem. This one is very brutal. I hope you will excuse the lack of deeper exploration of your poem from me. It certainly merits it, and no doubt I will be contemplating it for some time to come. But right now I am just immersing myself in the emotions it engendered.
I am so impressed with how you have managed to create something so gripping and gut wrenching. Perhaps its power is amplified by being familiar with your other work, so a sense of sympathetic affinity is already present and thus means one reads into your words meanings and symbols that maybe are not intended? Or perhaps it is from the nagging thought that great writers often write from what they know, and that idea is uncomfortable when reading the poem.
Regardless, it is awesome. You certainly deserve all the praise that is levelled in your direction.
@BastionKnight Thank you so much for your kind words, Knight. You always remind me that one of the bravest things a person can do is be kind! I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings about my poem. I completely understand needing time to process it—sometimes... emotions speak louder than analysis.
I wouldn’t want to dismiss such a genuine concern...so I’ll be honest—like all fiction, fantasy, and myths.... my poems hold a tint of truth. Maybe not as violent or brutal or dramatic as reality, but the emotions behind them never lie. That said... I’m good now—better, even. I never want my poems to be treated as absolute facts and like I am a victim of some kind in every narrative which is why I included that final note.
If there is truth in my poems....(and since I’m a poet, I’ll quote my own lines *insert a gif of proud face *)
"So I hid you in the commas,
And I buried you in subtext."
And in this case, you is the truth.
Once again..THANK YOU!!!
@azurePond
I thank you for your honesty and admire you all the more for it. (I am not so bold, so appreciate that quality in others). It is reassuring to know that some of the silly thoughts I have are not always a million miles of the mark. I would never envision you as a victim, nor have ever got that impression from your poems. Any fragility and vulnerability you share is tempered by the strength and character you also demonstrate (not to mention a fearsome intellect).
As always, loving your work.
In carmine veritas
@BastionKnight Thank you so much—that truly means a lot to me. And don’t sell yourself short! honesty comes in many forms and the way you engage with my work so thoughtfully is a kind of boldness in itself. Also...honesty is something you owe to yourself first, not to the world …and your honesty shines through in your work., Knight.
Your words mean more than I can properly express and I deeply appreciate them.
As always.... grateful for you and your insights.
In carmine veritas, Bastion Knight!
@azurePond @BastionKnight
Both of you are amazing poets, even when you talk poetry comes through your clever words and jokes. Your both my favourite poets in the whole wide world 💖💖 and even though I'm a bit dimmer, and can't always understand or read between the lines very well, I appreciate both your creative minds 💖💖💖 I love you both💖
@Tinywhisper11 That means the absolute world—thank you so much! Poetry isn’t just about understanding every line...it’s about feeling and you have such a beautiful way of appreciating it. Trust me... your light shines just as brightly and we’re so lucky to have someone as kind and thoughtful as you in our little poetry world. Love you Tiny! 💖
@Tinywhisper11
You absolutely wonderful person, you. Your indefatigable spirit and largess of heart is humbling. It is delightful how you manage to be so upbeat and caring all the time. You are indeed one of the universes greatest treasures. I am tickled pink by the notion that @azurePond and I are held in such high esteem and thank you from the bottom of my heart for such praise. However, I am sure neither I nor azurePond could let slide the words "I'm a bit dimmer"; tish, fie, and poppycock to that. You are one of the most radiant people it has been my pleasure to cross paths with, and your effulgence brightens others just by their proximity to you. Dim therefore is not a fitting adjective. I always look forward to seeing your amusing comments, and your feelings are very much reciprocated. Go team you!
@BastionKnight I absolutely agree with Knight! Tiny, you are kind, witty, and you shine so brightly that its impossible to miss — and that alone makes you more intelligent than half the world already. You are most certainly not dim....neither metaphorically nor literally!
As Einstein once said Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world. And you, my dear, have both in abundance — wit, warmth and that sparkling imagination that lights up every room you step into (virtual or otherwise)
So, dim? Never. Radiant? Always! 💫✨
@azurePond thanks sweetie 💗💗 creativity and brains are important, but muscles are importantor😂😂
@Tinywhisper11
Perhaps kindness and affection are importantantorest?
@BastionKnight 😂😂😂😂😂 I think they are all very importantorrer
@BastionKnight awww 💖 poppycock haha!😂😂 I love you 💗
@azurePond but you stole the f from fledge and left ledge-
a ledge where my words now stumble. (I GOT GOOSEBUMPS.)
i read it twice. i still lack the poetic expertise, not too well-versed so won't pretend i fully grasped it, but honestly this poem did something to me. like i got a full body shiver experience through your poem. i might not be able to delve in it too deeply, but there's no lie in the fact that i felt it too deeply, i felt it beneath my skin. absolutely spine chilling. i feel like there's a puddle of emotions i can't put into words. this kiddo is always proud of you azure.
@suu1309 The fact that you felt it—that it reached beneath your skin and stirred something unspoken—means everything to me. Poetry isn't always about understanding every layer.... sometimes...it's about feeling the weight of the words even if their meaning remains just out of reach. And knowing that my poem did that for you? That gives me goosebumps.
Also, I'm very interested in psychology—wait, no, not just that. I'm interested in humans. (Did I sound like an alien just now?) Well, anyway, I'm fascinated by the human mind, people’s actions, and how their experiences shape the world around them. While this connects to psychology, there's also a strong social and philosophical element to it. I can’t quite put it into words, but yeah...
In this poem, I wanted to explore how some people can colonize minds—not physically, but in a way that distorts our thoughts from within, even in their absence. I hope that explanation helps....Also, I'm blessed to have readers like you. There was a time when I stopped writing poetry but 7 Cups brought me back to it—helping me fall in love with poetry all over again and rekindling that hope.