Rollerblading

@twerp Haha.. i'd love to give you feedback. I comment on almost every poem I come across but don't treat me like an art critic * nervous laughter * (I’ll admit, I’m quite biased when it comes to art critics, particularly those who try to dictate someone else's style and call it mentorship.). But I am honoured to be trusted with this request <3
And now this beautiful poem... The poem really captures a vivid and almost hypnotic sense of motion, doesn’t it? The shift in the ‘blades of wheels’ from ‘new and pristine’ to ‘worn and dusty’ perfectly conveys that feeling of time passing, yet the speed remains unrelenting. I especially love the contrast between the ‘tall rainy buildings’ and the ‘drought-ridden trees’. There's something eerie about the idea that they ‘seem the same in between my blinks’. The repetition of ‘blades of wheels’ gives the piece a steady, almost mechanical rhythm that pulls you along with it. The way sound and image blur, with the ‘high honking cars’ and the ‘dog’s low growl’ merging into one, really elevates that sense of disorientation and chaos. It’s a brilliant poem—simple on the surface but with these layers that make it feel like you’re inside the rush, experiencing that chaos and pushing through it.

As for improvements, I think they should come from within. For me, some of the poems I post aren't recent—sometimes I revisit old ones and tweak the tone or change the point of view to see it in a different light. Sometimes I’ll even merge two poems on the same theme. It’s a constant process of rewriting and refining them.

For this poem, I honestly love the kinesthetic imagery and the rush of movement you create. I don’t feel there’s anything that needs changing, but if you do feel like experimenting, go ahead! The beauty of poetry is in the freedom to evolve it.