The Truth?
I am kind out of greed,
a hoarder of virtue,
spilling excess like overripe fruit left to rot
I give because my hands tremble with too much,
gifts unearned,
burdens I can neither shed nor return
I contort myself to fit,
pressing into spaces that spit me out,
raised to believe I was cast from the wrong mould
You call me good
because you have never glimpsed the rust dark stains
lurking beneath my fingernails
I could say the blade was justice,
that he tripped on his own lies,
that he fell for a reason,
that ruin was righteous when it wore my name
that I was made holy by this wreckage
But we were both dogs
licking the same wound,
both filthy, both limping
in the rot we swore to clean
I tell this tale only because
his breath ran out first
If he had this stage to speak,
you’d have hurled stones at my ribs
So I smothered him in these verses,
stuffed his voice in my mouth
a truth that chokes both him and me.
@azurePond how can something be so haunting yet so beautiful! how am i driven so heavily towards a poem with a grey or i'd rather say villainous character arc. it's so terrifying yet so goosebumpified. i don't know how well i understood it, but i so deeply felt that weight this poem carries, of self doubt, of guilt, of being haunted. and the line we were both dogs licking the same wound, to say i was left astonishingly terrified would be an understatement. your poem tells a tale, i'd read it again and again to reach the depths. but for now, know that you're an amazing storyteller bud. *good job haunting me out, haha*
@suu1309 I'm glad the poem resonated with you that deeply—your words truly made my day. 'Goosebumpified' is the best compliment, haha! Thank you Suu, for reading and feeling it so intensely!
@azurePond i know it's not funny, but somehow whilst reading this poem, i literally had that song "jee karda" from badlapur playing in my mind, like i so feel it's got the same darkness, the same depth, the same essence. 
@FernsAndFirelight
Is that you Suu? You have changed your username! (Sorry, could not resist!)
@azurePond haha, i immediately cracked up. lol yeah, it's me. had to change username for certain reasons, silly me.
@FernsAndFirelight Haha...Yeah I get it... I change my dps like that!
@azurePond
Wow.
I can’t even begin to describe how much this poem is captivating. There’s this constant tension between feeling “good” and knowing the darker side of yaself that ya conceal from others. I think we all have that inner conflict, that feeling of being both a victim and the one who caused harm. Gosh, this poem navigates that in such a powerful way. Your imagery is haunting, but it feels like a catharsis, a release. Awesome as always. 👏🏼
@ZenArashi Sorry for the late reply!
thank you so much for this—I truly appreciate your thoughtful words, Zen. You captured exactly what I hoped to convey... that push and pull between light and shadow, the weight of both guilt and pain. It means a lot that the poem resonated with you in that way. Writing it definitely felt like a catharsis, so knowing it had an impact makes it all the more meaningful. Really grateful for your insight and support! Thanks again, Zen.
@azurePond hi! I just read your poem, I have no words left in my head to explain how hauntingly beautiful it is. It pulled at my heartstrings, I could deeply resonate with it. The way kindness is combined with guilt, and mild to no feelings of relief to oneself is combined with justification is bewitching (lol uk in a good way).
This was a line that repeated itself at the back of my mind "If he had this stage to speak you would have hurled stones at my ribs".
Thanks for sharing this piece!
@Slyhterinqueen456 Hi! I’m so glad the poem resonated with you in that way. And the fact that that line lingered with you makes me feel like the poem found the right home.
Thank you for sharing this—it means more than I can say!
