You make my heart hurt (Poem)
Why must I feel?
Why can't I heal?
You make my heart hurt,
But you don't care.
You live a good life and it isn't fair.
God gave you talents, but gave me nothing at all.
You hear the voice of God.
I hear nothing at all.
All I feel is pain, and I write in vain.
You go on and on... Happy as a lark,
I only can feel the dark.
@tryingtosurvive2024
The anguish and sense of injustice comes through strongly in your poem. The thematic absence of hope feels unending, and the line "All I feel is pain, and I write in vain" speaks of a desire for catharsis unrealised despite all efforts.
I hope though that writing it did bring you some small measure of solace.
@BastionKnight there is two states of mind and feelings I must be in, in order to write. I either must feel sad and hopeless, or I must feel crazy or sarcastic. Just about everything I write online is sad and hopeless. If I'm writing to share it with someone at my school, then it is usually a sarcastic type poem story.
I run into problems with people at work and other places. I desire to be a good person who doesn't get into trouble. But there is something about my personality, my job, that somehow causes people around me to not care or not like me. I've been putting up with this problem for my whole life! So when I write this sort of thing it is very real to me!
@tryingtosurvive2024
I am so sorry to hear how things are for you. I think it is admirable to channel those thoughts and feelings into something creative like this. I just wish it brought you more comfort.
@BastionKnight Sometimes a person will say some kind words to me, and for some reason they touch me where my pain is, and something happens, and then I feel good about myself for a while.
I guess, after I suffered enough damage, the joy got snuffed out.
I am kinda capable of building desktop computers, but I don't feel joy doing it.
I am kinda capable of taking photos and posting them online. People even seem to like what I was posting here. Yet I don't feel joy doing it.
I am kinda capable of building and flying radio controlled planes, and yet I don't feel joy doing that either.
It is hard for me to feel that joy when I don't feel appreciated too. On the internet things have gotten reduced to a like button. A part of me wishes that the like button didn't exist so that people who wanted to express that they like something had to put it into words. So often I find myself just clicking a like button because it's easy. You know what I mean?
@tryingtosurvive2024
I do indeed. And I understand the impersonal nature of something akin to the like button and a preference for more meaningful and sincere comments. Perhaps it might help to imagine that sometimes when others cannot find the right words or are too shy/intimidated to write something, that button serves a greater purpose and fosters kinship.
@BastionKnight Maybe except 7Cups encourages people to click the like button. And 7Cups rewards you for doing so. That means I don't know if they are clicking it cause they are, as you say, or if they just like the feeling of getting a reward for doing so. On normal social media sites they use the like button for a dopamine hit. Keeps you posting more and more so that you can keep getting a good feeling for doing so. I am guilty of the same thing. In fact I have been so bad with it, that some social media sites banned me for it. "You are commenting too often. You are messaging too often. You are adding too many people too often." That sort of thing.... I want to yell back at those sites and say, I am lonely, and lonely makes me feel sad.
