a poem about nostalgia- HIRAETH.
nostaligia is a painful thing.
the past i long for no longer exists.
i am still a naive, little kid.
stuck in memories that i cannot go back to.
stuck in a childhood that doesn’t want me anymore.
the space i long for no longer fits me.
the little girl is in there somewhere.
i carry her everywhere i go;
to spread a touch of wonder and joy
wondering where her cousins are,
and why no one’s at the ancestral home.
where did all the years go?
i want to walk the road to my childhood home again.
can i dream for just a few months more?
the video roll of my life ended right with my childhood.
my roots will forever be tangled
maybe, in another universe, i’m still 7.
i just want to feel at home again.
my memories are a part of me, i carry them like the sea carries its salt
my grief for a past that no longer belongs to me
the house i long for no longer wants me.
the fear of constantly forgetting;
if i forget, who will remember?
these cherished memories aren’t etched in movies i can watch, nor books i can read
these cherished memories aren’t etched in scrapbooks i can flip, nor music that i can listen to
it feels like no one else misses this, but me
my cousins have all moved on from the old house
they have grown and matured, they have realised and learnt
while i, remain stagnant, only defined by memories that do not last
take me back to those simpler times
when laughing was natural
and loving was easy
when tears came and went
when breathing was simple.
when dawn breaks, one must break with it,
no matter how much the past is craved.
the only thing new is the date,
and with that, the inevitable building pressure of this existence.
@technicolourki
I really loved your poem. It encapsulates so eloquently the longing for a past which escapes us, and that (perhaps) mythologised bliss one may feel when looking back.
It really resonated how you utilise the imagery to recreate that ambience of innocence in the reflections on the past which you juxtapose with the realities of the present. I liked that it was not done in a 'bad vs good' trope, with the now being seen as adversarial. Rather it felt more like the much more personal and intimate rueful longing from memory which is put into stark relief when seen against the mundanity of the adult world.
The references to a younger self, and the musings on the possibilities of that self's continued existence is very bitter-sweet. I think the three lines in stanza six really captured it well "And loving was easy when tears came and went when breathing was simple."
I also admired how you reflect on those triggers of nostalgia that yet are unfulfilling as they only hint to the past and offer tantalising entry to it without satisfying that urge to return. How memories are not contained within the music, or films, or scrapbooks, but rather are just a one sided window.
It is a really lovely poem. The themes are poignant, and the atmosphere is emotional without seeming dramatic. It has a melancholic resignation about it that is very touching. Kudos.
@BastionKnight
thank you sm!! 🥹 hearing your interpretations and observations means a lot to me, it's super interesting! nostalgia really is something i cannot seem to get rid of, and although humankind has come so far in development and technology— it's so surprising and heartwrenching we haven't come up with a way to view our past memoriesas is or go back in time to witness those fleeting moments again 🙁 all we have is that little bundle of yearning in our hearts we will forever be stuck with.