older

i’ve always wanted an older something 

older car

older book 

older rocking chair 

i want to be able to feel the experiences in the steps of a house 

i want to be able to hear the voices from classes past in a school 

i want to run my fingers down the seams of a second-hand shirt from my cousin 

and i want to know something has been loved 

so i know it’s my turn to love it 

i’ve always wanted an older sibling 

brother or sister 

i’ve never had a preference

i just wanted someone tall to hug 

someone that could parent me that wasn’t a parent 

someone who would take my side 

and explain to me the book of love 

so i learn the easy way 

and i think i found my older half

and i know because when you say you were proud of me 

a smile fights its way onto our faces 

and i see

in another life 

you would teach me how to paint my nails 

and that one should always listen to bands like Sixpence None The Richer and Fleetwood Mac

you’d show me how to thrift 

and i’d have style

you’d give me a nickname

something small and sweet

with nothing to do with my actual name

then you’d help me put up fairy lights 

and support me when i say i want to paint my room green

and i’d be a much nicer person

and i’d love you just the same