3 Strategies to Stop a Gaslighter in Their Tracks

"Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by people to gain control in relationships. By causing someone to question their sense of judgment and reality, gaslighting undermines victims’ sense of agency and righteousness.The following are three strategies you can employ to protect yourself against this noxious relationship tactic.

1. Identify the warning signs early

Research published in The Journal of Sexual Aggression suggests that gaslighters share some common personality traits such as being emotionally unavailable, withdrawn, irresponsible, impulsive, distractible, and lacking in common sense and self-awareness.

Often, their tactics revolve around:

• Invalidating your feelings (“You are so insensitive.” “You are overreacting.”)
• Devaluing your worth (“You are stupid.” “You cannot possibly understand…”)
• Denying the truth (“Are you sure this has happened? You don’t remember things clearly anyway.”)
• Blaming you for their actions (“Don’t get upset over nonsensical things and I won’t get angry at you.”)

2. Speak up and be assertive

Once you identify the abusive behaviors, communicate directly with your partner about how their behavior affects you.

Here are a few ways you can effectively communicate your feelings to a gaslighter:

• When a partner tries to convince you of a lie, you may say, “Alright, we have different memories of what happened; let’s not debate it.”
• When a partner tells you how you should or should not feel, you may say, “I understand how you feel but my feelings are my feelings. They cannot be wrong. Let’s please respect the way we feel.”
• When your partner tried to pull you into a circular conversation, you may say, “I don’t know where this conversation is headed. Let’s take this up later when we both have a clearer mind.”

3. Set firm boundaries and possibly let go

While mild gaslighting can be a thorn in the side of your relationship, repeated and aggressive gaslighting could jeopardize your safety.

Often, abusive partners will not give up the power they feel they have. You can start by taking the following steps:

• Set limits around the usage of certain words and behaviors
• Try to make them aware of the patterns of their toxic behavior
• Direct them towards counseling and therapy"

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

What are your suggestions on overcoming gaslighting?

#Gaslighting #Abuse #Relationships #Communication