4 Ways to Respond Effectively to Our Intense Emotions

"1. Noticing emotions as they arise

Just noting the sensations, feelings, thoughts, and urges that arise can disrupt the cycle of avoidance that can fuel the intensity of these reactions. Reframing experiences neutrally—for instance, “My chest is tightening and my breath seems shorter” or “I’m feeling a lot of anger right now"—is one way of acknowledging the humanness of our responding and may help us receive any messages these reactions are sending.

2. Practicing compassion for ourselves

Although it can be easy to get angry at ourselves when our reactions are intense and inconvenient, it can be helpful to counter that reaction with intentional care and compassion for ourselves. Using empathic and kind inner language to describe what’s happening in a difficult moment such as, “I’m feeling a lot right now” or “It’s hard to be inside my body right now” or “This is a lot to deal with”—is a way of validating the experiences we are having and can disrupt the negative cycle described above.

3. Connecting to what’s important to us

When we feel strong emotions, we can let them lead us closer to what matters to us, or they can get between us and what really matters to our heart. So, in times of intense reactions, we can work to get clearer about how we want to respond by connecting to what is important to us in that moment. For example: Do we want to be connected to the person we are interacting with? Do we want to face a new challenge? Do we want to take actions that promote care and justice for others? Do we want to leave this situation and replenish our resources so we can do something else important to us later?

4. Flexibly choosing strategies that may influence our emotional reactions

Does all this mean we are always just stuck with whatever emotional intensity we are experiencing with no options? Not at all. We have all had numerous experiences of successfully responding to intense emotions in ways that diminish their intensity. You may have found it helpful to do something that brings you joy, breathe deeply 10 times, write in a gratitude journal, explore nature, listen to music, watch a comedy, pray, meditate, connect to community, or countless other actions in times of intense distress."

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

How do you respond to intense emotions?

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