5 Things to Know About Setting Boundaries

“Here are some things to consider as you initiate and reinforce boundaries.

1. Be direct. For a boundary to be effectively communicated, you need to be direct and specific. This means that you need to clearly state your expectations and the limits you are implementing. For example, “This Christmas I am unwilling to engage in any conversation about politics and if this cannot be respected, I will have to leave” is a clear and direct statement versus, “Let’s not talk about sensitive topics, OK?” You may also need to communicate or repeat the boundary more than once—especially if this is a new boundary or you are establishing a boundary with someone new.

2. Prepare for potential pushback. The other person might protest or try to use guilt to challenge the boundary. Typically, we set boundaries with people whom we have strained or complicated relationships with -in other words, we set boundaries with the people and relationships that could most benefit from a boundary. So, if there is pushback, this is normal and can actually signal that the boundary is very much needed and can benefit your mental health.

3. Don’t over-explain. When you try to over-explain a boundary, it can often open things up for debate or greater conversation which can sometimes result in further conflict. Your boundary is your boundary, and you don’t need the other person to sign off on it or give their input.

4. Reinforce the boundary. Remember, you are setting the boundary to protect your inner peace, so follow-through is important. It will be hard initially but become easier over time. For example, if your parent respects your boundary of not bringing up politics, great, enjoy the evening! If they refuse to respect the boundary and try to bait you into a political discussion, your job is to reinforce the boundary by leaving. Words are just words until they are backed by action.

5. Remember your “why.” It’s common to worry about how the other person might interpret the boundary or feel. By going back to your “why” or intent, you’ll feel more confident and grounded in your decision in setting the boundary. Try to use positive self-talk statements such as, “I am setting a boundary because it is good for my mental health” or, “I deserve to prioritize my needs and what is best for my well-being."

Read the whole article at Psychology Today

#Boundaries #Relationships #MentalHealth

💬 How do you maintain boundaries? (it can be in any setting - at work, with a friend, etc.)