Build Your Self-Confidence

The process of gaining confidence and self-esteem can be daunting. Even so, building your confidence can benefit you in a variety of areas of your life - the more confident you feel, the more likely you are to say yes to new activities/challenges, and the less likely you are to fall into vices for comfort. Consider ways to build your confidence such as challenging your unhealthy thinking, building on your successes, and validating yourself.

1. Challenge unhealthy thinking

We have internal dialogue running in our heads all day. We are mostly unaware of what we are even saying to ourselves. For instance, you forget your cell phone and then start cursing under your breath that you are stupid. These may seem like inconsequential statements, but every time you say something negative about yourself it strengthens your neural pathway between your concept of stupid and your concept of self. To break this, you have to consciously create a new path. You might instead say, "It was a stupid thing" (you are not stupid) or " I must be stressed to have forgotten that."

Here are some tips on how to challenge your thinking:

• Challenge black-and-white thinking such as "I always do this" or "I never do this"
• Reframe global statements to local ones, like "I'm forgetful" to "I forgot this one thing"

2. Build on your successes

Make use of a skill you already have and use it to solve other problems. For example, if budget management isn't something you're good at but you have good relationships, leverage your people skills to your benefit. Rather than learning by yourself, you can schedule a working meeting or ask others to assist you.

Other ways to build upon your successes are:

• Connect a task to your passion (e.g., gamify something if feeling competitive gets you excited).
• Identify your personal values and connect them to your day-to-day activities.
• Ask others what they think your strengths are (you may be surprised by the answers).
• Mentor others who need help in areas you are good at.
• After receiving positive feedback, ask for a referral or new projects in similar areas.

3. Find internal validation

Using others for external validation is okay in the short term, but it's not sustainable for your confidence or self-esteem in the long run. Our brains are wired to see the bad first, so it takes conscious action to notice the positive.

To build internal validation:

• Fake it 'til you make it. Hyping yourself up or telling yourself you got this will help your brain remain calm and actually increase your chances of success.
• Start your day positively with gratitude, writing down your successes, and/or things you like about yourself.
• After a performance conversation or getting feedback, write down at least one positive comment you heard.
• Build small rewards and recognition for yourself daily—even if you didn't achieve a task, reward your effort.
• Reflect on your achievements at the end of every day.

Read the complete article here.

What I learned from the article:

• Self-esteem can be consciously created by reframing negative thoughts.

• By leveraging existing strengths in one area, confidence can be built in another area.

• Self-confidence cannot be sustained by relying on others for external validation. Instead, one should find ways to recognize oneself.

• Gaining confidence helps in several aspects of life, including interacting with others and recovering from setbacks.

Discussion:

💬 Have you tried any of those strategies to build your self-esteem?

💬 Which new strategy would you like to try and why?

#self-esteem #confidence