Does Matching Your Partner's Love Language Matter?

Does your partner show you the love you need?

Source: Karen Warfel/Pixabay

How do you want to be loved? How does that match up with how your partner shows you love?

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is one of the most widely read relationship books ever published with 11 million+ readers. The basic premise of the uber-popular “love languages” is that each of us has a way we prefer to experience and express love (Egbert & Polk, 2006).

Those preferences fall into five categories:

1. Quality time (e.g., time spent focused on each other, intently listening)
2. Physical touch (e.g., holding hands, hugs, intercourse)
3. Words of affirmation (e.g., appreciation and compliments)
4. Acts of service (e.g., help and support, doing errands and tasks)
5. Gifts (e.g., symbols of affection like presents, flowers)

We all show and appreciate love in any of the five “languages” at different times. However, Chapman suggests we have a dominant preference. For example, if you enjoy physical touch, but feel especially connected when your partner expresses appreciation, your “love language” is words of affirmation. It’s also likely that you use words of affirmation as your primary way of showing your partner you love them.

According to Chapman, when partners’ love languages align, they should enjoy a better relationship. That is, the particular language you both “speak” (e.g., time, touch, words etc.) isn’t most important. Rather, what actually matters is that you’re both on the same page (e.g., both prefer service). If you’re mismatched, understanding each other becomes more difficult, and problems arise. But if you share your partner’s love language, you should experience a smoother and higher quality relationship.

Read the full available article at Psychology Today

Reflection: Would you like to add a love language to the list?

#LoveLanguage #Relationships #Happiness