Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry
“It has been said that we are living in an epidemic of social alienation and depression. Cognitive psychologists tell us that depression is often a result of how we interpret the world around us and the role we play in that world. Feelings of guilt, regret, and shame can fuel the fires of depression and further contribute to social withdrawal and alienation. Worry, that is, repetitive concern or rumination, then acts as a catalyst. It may be that a better understanding of what these feelings are and their relationship to one another will help you better control them and even free you from their burden. However, the following method can release you from psychically damaging burdens.
1. First, determine if you are truly culpable for the offense or wrongdoing. Sometimes we accept responsibility because we want to believe we can control all adversities in our lives. Or sometimes we accept responsibility because it’s what we or others expect. If you are not truly culpable, reject the guilt. Let it go. Don't let the expectations of others control your life.
2. Second, if your analysis reveals taking responsibility is warranted, then determine if you are 100 percent responsible. If you are not 100 percent responsible, lessen the burden, defuse the guilt by sharing it with others. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Mistakes and wrongdoings are most often a result of interacting factors.
3. Third, if you determine that the guilt is warranted and you are 100 percent culpable, then simply own it. Apology. Try to correct the problem, if possible. Then borrow from Maya Angelou and say to yourself, “If I had known better, I would have done better.” Tomorrow is a new day. It’s the first day of the rest of your life. Do better! Act to prevent it from happening again in the future to you and perhaps others. Each day can be the beginning of a new life, a new you.”
Read the whole article at The Psychology Today
#Guilt #Shame #Regret #Worry #Healing
💬 Do you have any experience with emotions like guilt, shame, regret, and worry? What do you think about the proposed method?
Did you like this topic? Then you might also enjoy reading the post “4 Signs You Have an Inner Gaslighter Mode”
@globalBraid3744
I want to start off by saying I think this is a very helpful thread that can pose as some good food for thought to kindle some changes in thought patterns. I do have experience with the emotions of guilt, shame, regret, and worry, and I want to say that sometimes I can definitely be too hard on myself with regard to them. I think the method you propose is a good one, with a clear and concise presentation that makes it easy to understand and remember when it comes time to apply it. I also think it's important to remember that it can be hard in the heat of the moment to follow this method, especially to start off with, if you often deal with these emotions and carry them as a heavy burden. Slow and steady wins the race. 😄
@empatheticpie
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! I am glad you can recognize that sometimes you are too hard on yourself because this is an important acknowledgment on the way to forgiveness and getting better. It is good that you pointed out how difficult it might be to complement this in the heat of the moment so perhaps as the first step there should be another method to stabilize intensive emotions. I think that in emotions like this time is very helpful as you said - slow and steady wins the race.
@globalBraid3744
Thank you, great read
@loyalFig6123
Glad to hear :) Hope you have a nice day
@globalBraid3744 This post is super helpful. I think that because the INTERNET is so pervasive in our lives (literally the thing we look at in bed in the morning and night - which isn't healthy), it can cause some people to feel overly responsible for everything bad happening in their lives. Like, we have all the information and we can see that other people like us have had success with any and every problem - shouldn't the world just be our oyster? The shock and shaming language of news articles is used to grab audiences so that money is made. I sometimes want to shout "of course we are all riddled with guilt and shame!" So when we have a problem, we seek support, but are bombarded with tone deaf advice instead. And that reinforces the shame. I think many people want to be good and to care which (on the negative side of it), take on too much guilt than they deserve. Which is why I love that you shared this insight! Thanks!
@ClayGiraffe
You bring up some good points! The Internet definitely plays a role in that such a huge number of people feel overly responsible for how their life is as they are bombarded with stories of successful people. I feel it might go two ways: it might be motivating to someone, but we need to remember that every person is different and this might create lots of feelings of guilt, worry or regret in people that feel depressed or unsuccessful.
