Emotional Power and Genuine Self-Value

The Immune System of the Self

Most psychological distress that seems to disempower is triggered by a drop in self-value—you feel devalued—by circumstances, someone else, or yourself. Most of us form the habit in toddlerhood of substituting power for value—we get angry at ourselves and at others. The adrenaline makes us feel temporarily more powerful but not more valuable.

We build immunity to drops in self-value by expanding core value, the human ability to create value and meaning in life. (Examples of valuing emotion states are interest, compassion, affection, love, appreciation, kindness, and enjoyment.)

Emotion Reconditioning

Emotions are dominated by a series of conditioned responses, some dating back to toddlerhood. For example, on autopilot, we're more likely to blame than improve.

Emotions can be reconditioned through practice by associating drops in self-value with core value. Once the association is conditioned, we will automatically do something likely to raise self-value and reduce reactivity to others. For example, we’ll improve the situation or our experience of it, appreciate someone or something, connect to significant others, or protect the well-being of those we love.

Basic Humanity

Valuing emotions make us feel more humane. We like ourselves better when we are compassionate, appreciative, kind, interested, affectionate, loving, or experiencing joy.

Devaluing emotions lower self-value and make us feel less humane. In general, we like ourselves less when angry, resentful, critical, or contemptuous, although we sometimes mistake self-righteousness for self-value.

The negative bias of emotional memory evolved to keep us safe—negative emotions are more necessary for immediate survival. But when they dominate daily life, they could cause health problems and severe impairments to well-being.

We can retrain ourselves to value more than we devalue, just as we’ve trained ourselves to do the opposite.

The Motivation of Emotions

Emotions have three components: physiological arousal, motivation, and feelings. The most important in terms of behavior is motivation— emotions prepare us to act. (The root of the word is “to move.”) The action they prepare us for can be fit into three broad categories: approach (get more) avoid (get less), and attack (devalue, warn, threaten, intimidate, harm). Motivation is the component most accessible to regulation—deciding which behavior is in our long-term best interests.

Binocular Vision in Interactions

Unregulated emotions can create temporary narcissism, where only your own feelings matter. They preclude other perspectives, obscuring the reality of interactions, which is both perspectives together.

Binocular vision is the most important relationship skill. Without it, interactions are rife with projections and power struggles. Monocular vision makes us want to argue and win. Binocular vision makes us want to learn and appreciate.

Source; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/202203/emotional-power-and-genuine-self-value

Reflection on this article;

• This article is helped me understand the psychology behind why we react to certain situations and how our emotions are influenced by certain life events.
• It also shows the relationship between our self-value and how our psychological distress is triggered.

How do you think the state of your self-value is? What do you think you can do to improve your self-value?

#SelfWorth #Value #EmotionalRegulation #MentalHealth