How Chronic Trauma Can Make a Person Controlling
Trauma victims can easily develop control issues.
So speaking as someone who is familiar with trauma, I can personally attest to both the content of this article as well as its title. One of the main hallmarks of trauma is the overwhelming sense of a loss of control in one's life. Because of this, oftentimes the trauma-survivor maladaptively adopts as well as projects the need for control in their life onto others. This stems from wanting to create a safe and predictable environment--a luxury that the trauma-survivor did not have.
As you might imagine, the coping mechanisms that initially allowed someone to survive their trauma don't necessarily translate all that well into day-to-day life. Cultivating self-awareness through mindfulness is the key to transcending the effects of traumatic events; it is extremely important to separate past experiences from present and future ones.
For those of you who have been and relate to trauma, have you been aware of the times where you’ve realized that you’re still operating from old coping mechanisms? Also, what ways have you found yourself overcoming your trauma?
Read the full article here.
#Trauma #Control #Mindfulness
@sereneSunset26
As someone who has experience with people with real traumas, this article speaks volumes into the truth that trauma can do to someone (even in unexpected ways). Personally I've seen people develop habits especially avoidance ones to attempt to distance themselves from familiar situations from when that trauma originated.
@sunnyWriting4806
As someone who has experience with people with real traumas, this article speaks volumes into the truth that trauma can do to someone (even in unexpected ways). Personally I've seen people develop habits especially avoidance ones to attempt to distance themselves from familiar situations from when that trauma originated.
Yeeeep, I can identify with that one 100%
Unfortunately (and I realize that this goes without saying) I've found out for myself that the avoidance of familiar traumatic situations only seems to exacerbate the actual issues of the trauma in the first place. It's a pretty vicious cycle; the brain seeks to keep the traumatized person safe by avoidance, which in turn, increases the fear of the initial catalyst(s) of the trauma itself.
@sereneSunset26
I think one thing that has been really hard for me while working through trauma has been forgiveness. My trauma resulted in me feeling hate towards the person that caused it, but the traumatic event was an accident and forgiveness was ultimately necessary because this person was an extremely close family member and I know that they did not mean what they meant. It was still really hard though to work through those feelings.
@fruityPond7887
I think one thing that has been really hard for me while working through trauma has been forgiveness. My trauma resulted in me feeling hate towards the person that caused it, but the traumatic event was an accident and forgiveness was ultimately necessary because this person was an extremely close family member and I know that they did not mean what they meant. It was still really hard though to work through those feelings.
That's totally understandable.
My trauma was caused by two parents who were unable to overcome their own traumas. And for me, it's hard for me try to draw a line with their intention(s). I'd want to believe that any parent would not want to intentionally traumatize for abuse, but so much of trauma and abuse is imposed by those who simply haven't come to terms with their own past(s).
For a long time, I harbored some mixture of confusion, anger, disgust, and hatred towards my parents for basically perpetuating generational trauma on to myself and my sisters. It ended up completely fracturing the family, with myself and my one sister trying to pick up the pieces as adults.
Anyway, it took long enough, but I was able to work through all of my feelings and realize that I simply had to break those chains of generational trauma that I was born into. It's a low bar, but I know that I can do better than my parents did, and blaze a new familial trail that is both divorced and devoid of the trauma-causing behaviors that run down both sides of my family tree. :)
@sereneSunset26
Hi Sunset! I am really sorry you had to struggle through with your sisters with the abuse you endured. I'm sure it's incredibly difficult to work through that because even though your parents did what they did, you still care because they are your parents. But I am glad that you are working towards breaking those cycles and I'm positive you will be great! I appreciate you sharing. 😊
