How to Separate Your Wants From Your Needs

"Separating your wants from your needs may seem like an impossible task, but it’s a lot more straightforward than you might think:

• Step 1: Make a complete, exhaustive list of what you want…for your home, for your children if you have children, in your career, from your partner, for your self-care, and for your spirituality (how you feel in your own company). List all the things you would like to accomplish in a day. Put it all down. Leave nothing out.

• Step 2: Take a long, hard look at every item in every category. Think about what you need right now, versus what you want. You might want that corner office and the huge salary increase, but right now, with all that you are balancing in terms of taking care of your family and having time and energy for yourself, what do you actually need? Be honest with yourself. If that next step up the career ladder is going to result in burnout, maybe it’s not what you need right now. Once you’ve identified your needs in each category, underline them. If all that you would like to achieve in a day would require that day to consist of 48 hours, take a long hard look at what truly needs your attention and what can wait.

  Wants versus needs from your partner or spouse: Just as with your life tasks, personal goals, and lists of material things that you want in your life, you can make a laundry list of everything you would like your partner to be. And just as with other categories, separate the nice-to-have wants from the must-have, deal-breaker needs. It might be nice to have someone who takes the initiative on household tasks, anticipates your needs, and makes a special effort to plan exciting weekend getaways, but maybe what you need right now is the person who makes you laugh, shares your love of old movies, and appreciates you for who you are, not what you do or have. The rest can be a work in progress. Identify what you need right now.

• Step 3: Use this list of needs to plan your days, your week, and your year. Keep your wants in mind, but focus on your needs, your self-care, and your well-being.

Revisit your wants, needs, and goals regularly. Add and reimagine as your goals and circumstances change, and you begin to factor your well-being and self-care into the equation of your life."

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

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